Dear Donna: July 23rd, 2018

Dear Donna,

I am recently widowed and a lady who was a mutual friend to my wife and me made it abundantly clear that she would like to spend time with me and help me through this difficult time. Initially I was grateful for her concern and company but I have come to understand she has romantic notions about the two of us.
I have no desire to be romantic with her but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I have tried to drop some tactful hints but she continues to be flirty with me. I am not sure what to say to her. Robert

Dear Robert,

If your hints aren’t working, you need to be more direct with her. The longer you accept that she is “flirty” with you, the more difficult it will be for her to accept there is no romance potential. She should be respectful of the fact that you are recently widowed and that you are most likely not ready to be romantic with anyone. Continuing to spend time with her is probably not in your best interest, and I am not sure she has your best interest at heart.

Dear Donna,

I have been dating an awesome man and the first two weeks we dated were so exciting. Our conversations are amazing and, although I kept looking for red flags, there were none. Our conversations and texts continue to be amazing but he cannot seem to find any time to spend with me. He assures me that he wants to see me, and I believe him, but it doesn’t happen. I understand the job, kids, but I think where there is will, there is a way. Do you agree? Roberta

Dear Roberta,

Why do you believe him when he assures you he wants to see you if it doesn’t happen?
Texts and phone conversations do not substitute for spending time together, especially when you are just beginning to know someone.

Leave the ball in his court to make plans to get together and if he does not follow through, stop wasting your time.

I agree, where there is a will, there is a way.