Dear Donna,
A year ago I ended a relationship with a man I am still in love with.
When me met we both agreed we wanted to be married and have children but after two years he was still dragging his feet.
I gave him an ultimatum and he decided not to marry me.
In the last year I compare every man I meet or date to him and it makes me realize what a good fit we were for each other.
I called him and asked him to meet with me and told him I would like to give “us” another chance.
He said six months ago he would have thought that was a good idea but he was finally in a good place about our relationship ending and he thought it was best to leave it the way it is.
I think he still loves me but I don’t know where to go from here. Lynn
Dear Lynn,
I would say the ball is in his court and he has told you he is not interested in reconnecting.
Giving someone an ultimatum to marry you or else almost never works.
If it was meant to be you would have been able to talk it through and come to an agreement.
I agree with him, it is best to leave it the way it is
Dear Donna,
I am dating a very successful, accomplished lady.
She is smart, pretty, active, well traveled and we get along great one on one.
However, on a couple of occasions I have included my friends in our plans and she tends to dominate the conversation and talk too much about herself.
Perhaps she is nervous about meeting my friends but I would like to address this issue before she meets any more of my friends or family. I certainly don’t want to offend her. What would be a tactful way to approach the subject? John
Dear John,
You might be right about her being nervous and that can fade pretty quickly once she gets to know your friends better.
I understand she is successful and accomplished but she could still be shy.
People can be very different in their personal lives as opposed to their work environments.
That would also be less of an issue once she gets to know your friends or family.
Despite her success, she might be insecure.
Insecure people have a tendency to brag about themselves and their accomplishments because they don’t have the confidence that they will be liked as much if you don’t know about their successes.
Tell her you want to make sure she is comfortable when you include other people because you noticed she seems different than when you are one on one and you want to do what you can to make it easier for her if it’s because she is nervous or shy. Good luck!