June 11, 2014

A couple of months ago I had another conversation about a trend I continue to hear about so I thought I would explore it and write about it.

Let’s say you meet someone on an online dating site. You have been dating for a few weeks and everything seems to be flowing, you are having fun, you enjoy the time you spend together and it seems mutual. You click on the online dating site and discover that he is active on the site every day, several times a day.

What would you think? He must not be that into me or he would not still be looking? Maybe he is always looking? Maybe he always will be looking?

One of the many ways internet dating has changed dating is what I call “The Grass Is Always Greener” syndrome.
When I started in the matchmaking business in 1987 people met mostly through friends, work, church or the bar scene. Denver was considered a long distance relationship, and still is by some.
Today there are thousands of dating websites with endless possibilities that can connect you with people all over the world.
How can you possibly settle for someone when a better someone might be just a click away?

I decided to put my profile on an online dating site. I am single, I would like to meet someone and I went into it with an open mind.
I was sincere and honest in describing myself and declared that I would put dates on my pictures because one of the biggest complaints I have heard from people who have done online dating is that people have pictures on their profiles that are years younger and pounds lighter compared to how they look today. I told the truth about my age and asked for them to also be honest about their age, another common complaint. I said I was interested in meeting someone within a 50 mile radius.
I put on a couple of pictures and I was prompted by an email from the site to put on more pictures. I put on a couple of more pictures and was again prompted to put on more pictures. I eventually stopped at 10 pictures.

I hit submit and in less than five minutes there was a match, and another and another. I clicked on the first three and decided to check it out when I got home from work.
Four hours later I had 30 emails. It was ego boost until I started going through the emails. I did what I am sure most people do and deleted them if I could tell by their picture they were not for me. I saw the value of having some good pictures, certainly more than one, and if there was no picture that was an automatic delete. I also deleted Hawaii, California, Alaska, Nigeria, Wyoming, Texas, and anyone else who was more than 100 miles away. There was no one I was inspired to connect with and want to meet.

Everyday there were emails, including 24 men the site suggested I take a look at each morning. In four weeks I was frustrated by spending so much time getting nowhere.
I met one man. We went out four times and mutually agreed that we were not compatible. The fact that he took my profile test that I use in my business made that very clear to me that we were not a good match for each other.

In less than a month I took my profile down and had a new appreciation for how much time I save my clients.
Maybe it’s just human nature to try to get away with what you can if left to your own devices. When people come to me there is a third party involved which takes care of all the game playing. I focus on the things that matter and look to plug in the mutual physical attraction, which is opposite to what people do online.
When my clients meet and there is a mutual attraction there is so much more potential for success. They have already decided that the grass is not always greener on the other side and they are tired of wasting their time.

Call me at 260-1000 for your no obligation interview and let’s see how many matches I have for you. Let me do all the work and introduce you to serious minded people who already know that the grass is not always, or even usually, greener on the other side.

To be continued……………..