October 15, 2011

My first appointment today is a lady, late 30’s, divorced, and her long term goal is marriage…maybe, children…maybe. I interviewed her seven years ago when she was in her early 30’s and her long term goal was marriage and DEFINITELY children. She was married for five years to a man who said he wanted to have children but changed his mind. However, that was not why their marriage ended. She choose to end it because she came to realize he was not the man she wanted to be the father of her children. Today she is more focused on the type of man she wants to marry and if they decide to have children, great, if not, being with someone who is right for her matters more than having children. She said “I have four nieces and nephews now and I have so much fun with them and, then I take them home.” She travels, a lot. She has literally been all over the world and has done mission trips in many foreign countries. She has been able to affect hundreds of children and she thinks this may be God’s way of bringing children into her life. She is a strong believer and would like to meet a Christian man who shares her faith. She said “There are so many deserving children waiting to be adopted and I see adoption as a more desirable choice if we decide to be a family.” She is pretty, active, fit and looks just like she did when I met her seven years ago. I asked “Why did you decide to call me again?” She said “You have no idea how many times I thought about how things might have gone differently if I had decided to work with back then. I heard your radio ad the other day, and thought why not now.” She took the profile test again and her scores were exactly the same as they were seven years ago. People don’t change, finding the right person is what makes the difference.

My second appointment is a man, early 40’s, ABS, educated, his long term goal is marriage and children. When I book an appointment I always ask their height. This man told me he was 5’10. I have been asking that question for the entire 25 years I have been a Matchmaker and I am accustomed to men over estimating their height, just as I am accustomed to ladies under estimating their weight. BUT, you can get away with it to a point. I am 5’3 and had on three inch heels, which made me 5’6 and we were eye ball to eye ball when we shook hands. You can fudge an inch, maybe two, but not four. I knew I would have to address his height at some point and it did not happen until he had agreed he wanted to be a client and we were filling in the blanks on the contract. I knew what he had said on the phone but I asked him his height again. He said “5’10”. I said “Stand up.” I pointed out that I was 5’3 and with three inch heels, 5’6 and we were eye ball to eye ball. He said “My driver’s license says 5’10.” I said “You could tell them you were 6’ tall and they would put it on your driver’s license. That does not mean you are 6’ tall and if I tell the ladies I match you with that you are 5’10 you are only setting yourself and them up for disappointment when they meet you.” He said “Don’t tell them my height.” I said “Height and weight is a part if the information I share when I make a match, on both men and ladies.” He said “Ladies always lie about their weight, why shouldn’t I lie about my height.” I said “You can get away with it to a point, but not four inches.” He said “I need to think about this and I will give you a call back next week.” Twenty years ago a man might have overestimated his height by an inch and a lady might have underestimated her weight by ten pounds but the internet changed all that because people can put whatever they want for their height and weight, just as they do on their driver’s license. It does not change the reality, and it is what it is, why not be honest from the very beginning. You may accomplish setting up the first meeting, but I doubt there will be a second meeting.

To be continued………