September 6, 2013

My first appointment today is a “be back”, a lady I interviewed in July when she was just ending a three year relationship.
This is part of the initial email she sent me:

“I own my own home, have saved a lot of money for someone my age, and have a good credit score. I would like the guy I am with to be financially sound as well. By that I mean that he makes smart financial decisions… He doesn’t have to be rich..but he should live within his means. I may be jumping the gun here but I wanted you to have my information on file. I am a 28 year old female. I don’t know if you can do anything as of right now but I wouldn’t mind talking to you. I am tired of dating guys for 2-3 years and then it ending because I made the wrong choice and forgot some of my values. Thanks and I hope I’m not wasting your time.”

I don’t usually invite someone in for an interview when they are still in a relationship but I had a good conversation with her on the phone and I liked her honesty.

She has continued to call and share her progress with me since our first meeting. She implemented my suggestions on how to end her relationship and she followed through like clockwork. She is now emotionally available and in the right frame of mind to meet someone new. She is a very smart young lady and I am excited to have the opportunity to help her find a man who has as much to offer her as she has to offer in return.

Visit my diary on my website dated July 11, 2013 for more information on her.

My second appointment is a man, late 30’s, divorced, educated, and his long term goal is marriage. He is open to having children.

He said “I am sure you have heard my story a thousand times, never thought I would be divorced, thought I would have kids by now, tired of wasting my time.”
I said “I have certainly heard similar versions of that story many times.”
He said “Almost everyone I know is divorced. How can so many smart people make wrongs choices?”
I said “Because most of us base our choices on chemistry and physical attraction and think that because that chemistry and attraction is there, everything will fall into place. It would be like going to a car dealership and seeing a car across a crowded parking lot and saying, “That’s it, that’s the one I want, I’ll take it now.” You don’t ask what it cost, what kind of track record it has, if it has all the things that are important to you, you don’t look under the hood or in the trunk, you drive away knowing nothing except you have the car you thought you always wanted.”
He laughed and said “You just changed my whole approach to dating.”

He enjoys hiking, kayaking, boating, fly fishing, movies, concerts, road trips, reading, and spending time with his friends and family. He wants to take a cruise when he has a special lady in his life.
He said “I never had any interest in taking a cruise but my brother has been on a couple and he keeps telling me I should try it. I checked out some websites. It looks like it could be a lot of fun with the right person and the prices were very affordable.”

He is very open on his preferences and feels the right lady for him may, or may not want to have children.
He said “I am not going to put that expectation on myself or anyone else. I could not be more open minded to the idea, either way.”

I shared information with him on several ladies I think are a good match for him and we agreed on his first match.
He said “I am going to tell her that you said I should look under her hood and in her trunk.”

To be continued………