April 30, 2013

My first appointment today is a lady, early 30’s, ABS, educated, her long term goal is marriage and children.
She said “I have a friend who met and married her husband through Perfectly Matched and she has been encouraging me to call you. I am not sure this is for me, but I told her I would meet with you.”
I said “I remember your friend because when they got engaged they stopped by to tell me and show me her engagement ring, which was a cigar band.”
She laughed and said “They are both very frugal, that’s something they definitely have in common.”

She has been meeting men online and has not been successful in meeting anyone who has long term potential.
She said “Many of the men I met paid no attention to my profile and the things I said were important to me. I adjusted my profile to be more direct about my preferences, and it made no difference. I think they just look at my picture and disregard everything else.”

She was very clear with me on what her preferences are: Caucasian, 30 to 40, at least 5’9, someone who has never been married, has no kids, wants to be married and have kids, a fairly strong believer, would enjoy going to church with her, has a good relationship with his family, has friends, takes care of himself, not overweight, eats healthy, exercises, has a job he enjoys, makes at least 60K a year, financially responsible, is educated, not into the bar scene, light social drinker, likes pets, enjoys the outdoors, is happy with his life, and not a smoker.

I said “Except for the height, do you realize you just described yourself?”
She said “Someone like me would be just fine, but I thought opposites attract.”
I said “They do attract, they don’t work. It really goes back to someone as much like yourself as possible, except for the temperament score. Two people low in temperament will butt heads and fight, and two people too easy going don’t address the issues, so opposites in temperament balance each other out.”

I talked to her about four men I think are good matches for her and she was surprised I could pull out profiles of men with “scores” so close to hers. Men who met all, or almost all, of her preferences.
She said “But what about physical attraction. I have to be attracted to him.”
I said “I know the physical attraction has to be there, and it has to be mutual. He has to be attracted to you as well. When the physical attraction is mutual, there is so much more potential for success because all the other things that are important to you, and him, have already been plugged in.”

She said “I told my friend I would call her after I met with you and I want to think about this for a couple of days.”
I said “Fine, if you decide to pursue this, I need about another fifteen minutes of your time to go over the agreement, and take your picture.”
She said “Ok, I will call you tomorrow and don’t match Josh with anyone else until I call you back.”

I think she will definitely be back.

My second appointment is a man coming in to reconnect with me after having been inactive for two years. He met someone on his own and they dated for a little over a year. Whenever my clients meet someone on their own, I volunteer to send them the profile test and see how their scores compare.

He said “I have more respect for the scores now because you told me I was much more budget minded than her and she was much lower in affection than I am. Those are the two areas where we had problems. She spent money she did not have, and then she wanted to spend mine. The intimacy started to fade after the first three months and went downhill from there. This time I am going to pay more attention to the scores.”

Good idea!

To be continued………………….