Dear Donna,
I have been dating a man for almost six months and just as I was beginning think this relationship might be “the one”, I feel him pulling away.
We had consistently been seeing each other three or four times a week and in the last month we have only seen each other once or twice a week.
He says nothing is wrong and nothing has changed but that’s not true.
He is not as affectionate and I don’t feel he is as excited about me as he used to be.
He has been having a difficult time with one of his daughters and I have tried to be supportive but I am concerned about how this is affecting our relationship and feeling like I am not much of a priority in his life right now.
I miss the closeness we shared and wonder how to get it back. Tamara
Dear Tamara,
Although he says nothing has changed, you know it has and you should express to him what you have shared with me.
That he is not as affectionate and you are not feeling like he is as excited about you as he used to be.
I don’t know how serious the situation with his daughter is but it is the one thing you can pinpoint as to when things started changing.
Tell him you understand if he needs time to work things out with his daughter and put yourself on the back burner…sounds like he has already done that for you but he should know this is how you feel.
Leave the ball in his court and if he does not make more of an effort to assure you he wants this relationship with you to continue to thrive, you have your answer.
Dear Donna,
I met a lady I geniunely like. I am attracted to her and I feel very comfortable with her.
On our third date she told me she has been married four times. I did not ask for any details but I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how anyone could be divorced four times.
Do you think this is a red flag? Don
Dear Don,
Not necessarily.
Unfortunately, there are many people today who have been divorced two, three, four times.
Since internet dating evolved in the 90’s the divorce rate has skyrocketed.
I would not make it a topic of conversation as you are just getting to know each other but considering she has already mentioned it eventually she will probably share the details.
Keep an open mind because it only takes one person to want a divorce and sometimes you can do all the right things with the wrong person.
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