Dear Donna: October 20, 2022

Dear Donna,

About two years ago I met a man from an online service and we texted and emailed for months before we met.
I really enjoyed the meeting and he seemed to enjoy it too. However, we never got together a second time.

Over the last year he has started to text me again but when I texted him back and asked if I could call him he did not respond.

A few months will go by and he will text me again but still does not want to meet or talk on the phone.
I cannot understand why he keeps reaching out to me if he is not interested. Debbie

Dear Debbie,

It does not matter why he is reaching out to you.
You should let this go, and for future reference, I strongly encourage you not to invest in getting to know someone through texting.
This is a huge mistake that so many people make today and it is such a waste of time and energy.

Once a contact has been made you should set a time to meet as soon as possible. Make it a brief meeting, not lunch or dinner, one hour for a cup of coffee.

No matter how much you have connected with someone through texting, or even talking on the phone, if you meet and there is not a mutual attraction it will not go anywhere and you just saved yourself a lot of time and emotion.

My guess is this man is not emotionally available or just playing games.

Next time he texts you, don’t text back.

Dear Donna,

I have been dating a lady for a month and we have gone out four times.
I like her very much but I am not sure we are on the same page as far as where this relationship might go long term.

I have asked her to join me for a family get together at my daughter’s home for a Halloween party and she said it was too soon to meet my family.

I am disappointed she feels this way because I told my family about her and they are all looking forward to meeting her.
Should I take this as a sign that she is not as interested in me as I am in her? Richard

Dear Richard,

I don’t consider my clients to be in a relationship until they have dated for three months.

I would encourage you to not be disappointed and respect that she feels it is too soon to meet your family.
She probably wants to get to know you better before she meets your family and I agree with her.

Instead of thinking you are in a relationship and wondering if there is long term potential, focus on building a friendship and try not to look too far down the road too soon.

She might be equally interested in you but only time will tell. Most people know in the first two to three months.