December 20, 2013

My first appointment this week is a “be back”, a lady I interviewed last week, decided now was the right time to join Perfectly Matched.
She is mid 40’s, ABS (always been single), highly educated, her long term goal is a serious relationship and she would consider marriage.
Although she has always been single, she has a son who is now living on his own and she is an empty nester for the first time in 20 years.

She said “I have not had what I consider a serious relationship for ten years. It was too complicated to try to date and raise my son. I am ready to date but I am not going to do the online sites. I heard your radio ad and decided to call you because I have no idea how I would meet someone on my own. I don’t go to bars, or church. I don’t date in my work environment and I am not going to ask my friends for help. What does that leave?”

She enjoys, reading, movies, hiking, hanging out with family and friends, an occasional concert, and traveling. Most of her traveling is to visit family and friends within the US. She is also a Denver Nugget, Bronco and Av’s fan and does an annual trip to Vegas with friends.

She said “I am no jock, by any means, and I wouldn’t want to try to keep up with someone who is much more physically active than I am.”
I said “You may not be all that active, but you are fit and attractive and that matters more to most men than whether or not you can keep up on a bike ride.”

She is quick to smile and has a beautiful smile. She may be shy, but she is also direct and straight forward. There is no bull with her. She tells it like it is.

She said “OK, Donna, I am ready to meet some of those men you talked to me about and start DATING.”
I said “You make it sound like you are going to the Principal’s office…it will be fun!”
He flashed her big smile and said “I am sure it will be.”

My second appointment this week is also a “be back”, a man I interviewed in September. He heard about my holiday special through a friend who joined Perfectly Matched.

He is late 30’s, ABS, his long term goal is marriage and children.
He enjoys scuba diving, bowling, light hiking, movies, concerts, and loves cooking and entertaining.

His religion score is a “1” on a scale of “0” to “10”, which means he is agnostic.
He said “We talked about that when you interviewed me is September. Do you think that will limit the number of matches you have for me?”
I said “It may be somewhat limiting, but that is another way I will screen for you. They will know your score is a “1” and that you are agnostic. If they pass based on that, we move on to the next one.”
He said “Tell them I believe in the Golden Rule and being moral.”

He is a nice guy from the Midwest and he likes “curvy” ladies.
I have some great matches for him.

My third appointment is a lady, mid 50’s, divorced, educated, her long term goal is a serious relationship, probably not marriage.
She said “I am sure you hear this all the time, but never say never, when it comes to marriage. I don’t really see that in my future but I suppose it could happen.”

Before I book someone to come in for the interview, I try to make sure they are emotionally available and ready to move on with someone new. She told me on the phone she had an eight year relationship that ended about a year and a half ago. When we met I asked her if she still communicated with him and she said she did. I asked her if she still spends time with him and she said she did. I asked her if having him in her life was keeping her from being emotionally available.

She said “I don’t get what I need from this relationship. We are very compatible but I know it is not going to work. I want to move on.”
I said “OK, let’s assume you are emotionally available and I will share information with you on men I think will be good matches for you.”
The first file I picked to share information with her was the man she had been in a relationship with for eight years.
She threw her head back and said “What do you think this means?”
I said “It means you were right about one thing, your scores are very compatible.”

We finished the interview but it was obvious she was still unsettled by the irony of me pulling up his file first, and probably the verification that they are very compatible.

She said “Can I think about this over night?”
I said “Of course.”
I could not help but feel for her. She wants to move on but I do not think she is quite ready.
I said “Sometimes there is a fine line between when you are ready and when getting back out there and meeting new men can help you move on. You let me know when the time is right.”
She gave me a hug…..

Everyone is wrapped up in Christmas and spending time with friends and family and things will be pretty quiet here at Perfectly Matched for the next couple of weeks. This is my time of year to take a vacation and I am excited to have some time off to spend with my family and friends.
I look forward to a happy, healthy, prosperous 2014 and wish the same for you!


To be continued…………………………