January 10, 2013

My first appointment today is a man, mid 40’s, divorced, and his long term goal is definitely to be married. He married young and his two children are already on their own and in college. He is an empty nester for the first time and feels now it is his turn to make himself a priority.

He said “I enjoyed being married and I want to be married again. I have learned so much about myself through my marriage and the two year relationship after my marriage. I was 19 when I married and it was a good marriage for the most part, but now I am in my 40’s, and I don’t want to make a mistake.”
He has enjoyed reading my diary entries on my website and decided he was much more likely to find the right lady through Perfectly Matched.
He said “I like the idea of having someone help me with this and I think you can help me.”

He enjoys motorcycle riding, loves golf, camping, cooking, an occasional concert, and going to the hot springs.
I said “What hot springs do you enjoy?”
He said “I was just at Mount Princeton, and it was great. I would love to have a lady hop on the back of my bike and make a day trip to Mount Princeton.”
I said “How important is it for a lady to be comfortable riding on the back of your bike?”
He said “It’s very important. Many of my friends have wives and girlfriends who ride and I like that lifestyle. I want someone to enjoy it with me.”

When I asked him what appealed to him physically as far as a lady is concerned he said “I am not so hung up on looks like many of my friends, and I don’t mind someone who is overweight, as long as she can fit on my Harley.”

My second appointment is a lady, mid 30’s, ABS (always been single), educated, and she wants children. She is not sure about marriage but she knows she wants children.

She said “I will be a mother one way or the other. It would be nice to meet a man I want to marry but what matters most is meeting a man I think would be a good father.”
I said “So if you meet a man you think would be a good father and you don’t want to marry him, you would still have children with him?”
She said “Yes.”
I said “No offense, but why don’t you just go to a sperm bank and get a donor?”
She said “It’s too expensive.”
She proceeded to tell me all the qualifications required for the man who would be the father of her children. The list was endless and by the time she finished I felt like I was taking an application for a sperm donor.

I said “The men I work with who want to have children want to marry a woman who will not only be the mother of their children, but also be their wife, hopefully for the rest of their lives.”
She said “That only happens in fairy tales.”

I told her I did not think my service was a good match for her needs. I am very open minded but she was a bit too calculating. I could not in good conscious introduce her to a man who is looking for a wife, and the mother of his children, in that order.

After 25 years of matchmaking, I have learned that some situations are going to be more trouble than they are worth and this one definitely set off my alarm bells. Yes, there is someone for everyone, but she is not going to find the father of her children at Perfectly Matched.

To be continued………………………….