January 15, 2014

My first conversation this morning was very interesting. A lady who is three months into a new relationship called me for advice. She has been very happy but now there is a little bump in the road.

She said “It’s probably my own insecurity because everything has been great, but he usually calls me twice a day when he travels and this time, except for one brief call, I haven’t heard from him in two days.
He did tell me he had a busy few days coming up and he might not be able to call as often, so I have not called or texted him.
It makes me feel like I must not be as much of a priority with him as he is with me and that scares me. I don’t want to be falling in love with someone who is not falling in love with me.”

I said “You went from “everything has been great” to “scared” because he has not called in two days and he told you be might not be able to call.”

She laughed and said “So I am insecure.”

I said “It is more likely you are scared. Scared is one word I hear more often than any other when people think they are falling in love. It is scary to realize you are giving heart to someone you have to trust will not break it.
Most of us have had our hearts broken and it is not a feeling you ever want to repeat.”

I suggested that she focus on the fact that everything has been great to this point and think about all the wonderful, positive things she feels are working in this relationship and treat him like a friend.

She said “What you do mean treat him like a friend? He is much more than a friend.”

I said “Exactly, and if a friend told you they might not be calling you for a few days and they did not call, would you cut them some lack? Doesn’t he deserve the same consideration?

She said “You should write this on your diary because I hear all the time that the best relationships start with a friendship and it makes it so much easier to put this in perspective when I think of him as a friend, not someone who might break my heart.”

I said “I am going to write about it because of what you just said.”

I also told her I talked to him just before he went out of town and he feels things are going great too.

I love my job!

To be continued…………………………….