July 13, 2013

My first appointment today is a man, late 40’s, divorced, educated, and his long term goal is a committed, monogamous relationship, and he would consider marriage.

He said “A few years ago I thought I would never get married again, but now I could see it happening with the right lady.”
He has been divorced for almost ten years and he has had two serious relationships in that time.
He said “What I don’t want to do is spend four or five years in another relationship only to have it end. I have learned a lot from my marriage and these last two relationships. I more aware of what I want and need in a relationship and I am also more aware of my attributes and shortcomings.”

He is very close to his two grown children who are both thriving, doing well, and live within a couple of hours of Colorado Springs. His parents live in another state and he is also close to them.
He said “The kids have both graduated from college and are very busy building their careers. I miss how they don’t need me as much as they used to but we try to see each other at least once a month and talk and text all the time.”

He was referred to me by a man who became a client just a few weeks ago.
He said “My friend told me about your profile test and how you nailed his personality with just 46 questions. He said he could clearly see where he and his ex-wife were incompatible when he saw his scores on your graph. I am also very surprised by what 46 questions tells you about me. Everyone in a relationship should take this test.”
I said “I test people for my clients all the time when they meet someone on their own. I believe in these scores and their ability to establish compatibility in six major areas. It cannot be a coincidence that the couples who continue to have success are the ones with the most compatible scores.”

Golf and tennis are his two favorite sports.
He said “I have never been in a relationship with a lady who plays golf. Apparently one of my shortcomings is that I play too much golf. If I had a lady who wanted to golf with me maybe it wouldn’t be such an issue.”

He also enjoys hiking with his dog, spectator sports, eating healthy, exercising, and traveling.
He said “I am not a fanatic when it comes to fitness but I do appreciate a lady who takes care of herself. However, I would rather a lady be somewhat overweight as opposed to too thin.”

At the end of the interview, he said “I thought I would just meet with you and check this out. I didn’t plan on signing up today but, what the hell. I feel comfortable with you and I am interested in meeting some of the ladies you think are good matches for me.”

Referral business….keeps me in business.

My second appointment is a lady, early 30’s, ABS (always been single), her long term goal is marriage and children. She will be finishing her Master’s degree in a year and starting on her career path. She owns her home and has been in only two significant relationships with men who are not ambitious, goal oriented, or independent.

She said “I have known about your service for years and I have met you a couple of times over the years and always thought about your service, but it was my mom who encouraged me to give you a call.”

She is very active, attractive, and petite. She enjoys yoga, snowboarding, exercising, gardening, loves hiking and being outside doing just about anything. She does the Incline once a year. She has done sky diving and parasailing. She has traveled all over the US, Spain, France, Italy, Ireland, Mexico, Canada, and she wants to continue to travel. She would love to go to Africa on a safari.

The only limiting factor about matching her is that she is a smoker. Most of the matches I have for her are not smokers. A couple of them say they prefer not to meet a smoker, but most of them say they are not interested in meeting a smoker. She is a light, considerate smoker, does not smoke in her home, and she plans to quit but she was upfront with me that quitting is not on her immediate “to do” list.

We agreed that I am going to call a few of the men who appear to be good matches for her and see how they respond to the fact that she smokes. I would feel more comfortable offering membership knowing whether or not the smoking is going to be a show stopper. It is for most nonsmokers, but the younger clients in their 20’s and 30’s are sometimes more accepting.

I read The Wall Street Journal article in business section of the Gazette today titled “10 Things Baby Boomers Won’t Tell You”.

#5 is “Til death do us part does not apply to us”
Boomers are untying the knot at a record pace. The divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled in the past 20 years, says the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, and will hit more than 800,000 by the year 2030.
What’s fueling this trend? Empty nester’s finding they are a lot less compatible when the kids aren’t around is one phenomenon, says Toronto-based psychologist Tami Kulbatski.

Interesting article about us Baby Boomers..the other 9 things we won’t tell you are:
1) “Paws off, Junior. This cash is mine.” Only half of us with high net worth (more than 3 million) plan to leave anything to our kids.
2) “We’ll be living with you when we are old.” Although we are expected to live longer than any generation, we have not saved enough for retirement.
3) “…and we blame you for that” claiming that paying for your college education kept us from saving.
4) “We can’t face reality” Only 13% of pre-retirees (people over 50 who have not yet retired) think their health will be significantly worse than it is now, while 39% of retirees report that it actually is worse.
5) “Til death do us part”
6) “We’re unhappy” Boomer are the least happy of all age groups according to a 2008 study published in the American Sociological Review journal.
7) “..and we eat our feelings” Nearly 40% of people ages 60 and up and nearly 37% of people 40 to 59 are now considered obese.
8) “And we’re addicts” Boomers are drinking and drugging their way into old age at a rate much higher than their parents generation.
9) “We will bury you in debt” We’re a nation in record debt-an estimated 16 trillion- and the sheer numbers of boomers is expected to significantly add to that in the coming years.
10) “We’re obsessed with not aging” Revenue for so-called cosmeceutical companies is expected to hit 5 billion this year and is expected to grow 7.5% each year through 2018.

Geez, I always felt good about being a Baby Boomer. I didn’t know we were such a mess!

To be continued………………………