March 8, 2011

My first appointment today is a lady, early 40’s, divorced, educated, self employed, financially stable and secure, has one child, and her long term goal is a serious relationship. She is not interested in marriage. Her scores are nonconforming and nonreligious and she questions whether or not the type of man who will compatible with her can he found in Colorado Springs. I shared information with her on six men who are compatible with her scores. She said “That’s it, you line up those numbers and that takes care of that?” I said “If a person is low conformity they are also most likely to be low in religion, those two scores usually go hand in hand. Likewise, if someone is high in conformity (more traditional), they are also more religious.” Her religion score is “2” on a scale of “0” to “10” and her conformity score is “2.5”. Two of the men have lower scores than hers. She said “OK, now I believe they exist but will I be attracted to them?” That’s always the bottom line, no matter what the scores. I told her I do not show pictures when I start matching someone and, after 23 years of matchmaking, I have a good eye for choosing levels of attraction. Once I match someone a couple of times and get their feedback, I am much more in tune with them and the type of person they are attracted to. She said “What if I am not attracted to any of them?” I said “If you are not attracted to the first two, I won’t count them as a match and I will show you a picture on the next match.” She said “Why not show a picture on the first match?” I said “Most people do not take a good picture and you will see something in person you cannot see in a picture. I do not show pictures very often and anyone I recommend would be worth an hour of your time to meet in person. If you are not interested, the feedback is always helpful to help make this more focused and fine tuned.” She said “If I say someone was dumb or sloppy or crude, are you going to share that with them?” I said “I am very tactful when I share feedback, I would probably say you didn’t feel the chemistry or connection, and I understand it is simply YOUR opinion. However, if I do get negative feedback from more than a couple of matches on a client I feel I owe it to the client to let them know what they are doing that is not working well for them.” She said “You don’t have to sugar coat it with me. I want you to tell me everything they say, the good, the bad and the ugly.” Be careful what you ask for.

My second appointment is a man, mid 50’s, widowed with two young children, and his long term goal is marriage. His most motivating score is his religion score, “9.5”. He wants to find a Christian woman whom will be a mother to his children. He met his wife in church but that is not happening this time. He said “I have been ready to date for a year now and I have had absolutely no luck.” It does not surprise me that he has no luck. He needs a strong Christian woman who wants to be a mother to his children, is in his mid 50’s with young children, and he is very short. He said “I can’t do a thing about my height and I know it is a big deal to ladies.” I do not have any matches for him but I told him I will think of him instantly if a compatible match comes in and I will call him. He said “It’s in God’s hands.”

I went to Fat Tuesday at the Ritz tonight and a couple who met and married through Perfectly Matched came over to say hello. They have been married for almost two years now and every time I run into them they seem so incredibly happy. Each time I see them I remember her feedback after their first meeting. He is a minister but more spiritual than religious and she said “I just don’t see myself as a minister’s wife.” I said “How about just seeing yourself going out to dinner with him?” And…the rest is history.

To be continued………………..