May 19, 2011

My first appointment today is a lady, early 40’s, divorced, no children, and her long term goal is marriage. Her last serious relationship ended a few months ago and she wants to start dating again. Just a few minutes into the interview she was crying. Tears in the interview usually means they are not emotionally available, and this is definitely true of this lady. It is difficult to see and hear how brokenhearted someone is when they have been hurt. She has lost weight and cannot seem to shake the “blues”. I listened and listened to her pour her heart out and there is no doubt in my mind that she could benefit from some counseling and, perhaps, temporary medication. She thinks meeting someone new will help her get over her last relationship and feel better. I said “I think you need to feel better and get over your last relationship BEFORE you start dating.” He is in her work environment and she has to see him almost every day. I asked her if she could change jobs and work somewhere else but she has been with this company several years and otherwise likes her job. He is dating someone else and thinks it is OK to talk to his old girlfriend about his new girlfriend. More tears. I knew I could not offer her membership but I wanted to do something to help her. I gave her the name and number of a counselor I have referred a several people to and she promised to call her. I also told her I would love to work with her when she is ready. I have no idea what kind of man her ex boyfriend is but she is an absolute doll, pretty, smart, successful, sweet and I know I have men who would love to meet her. I asked her to call me after she meets with the counselor and she said she will. Some people have such tender hearts that break so easily.

My second appointment is a man, 50, divorced, grown kids, his long term goal is definitely marriage. This is a cool guy. He is nonconforming, very open minded, loves kids, and is very connected to, not only his grown children, but also to friends of his children. There are at least a dozen people who call him “Dad”. I have a heart for children and I always know when I am talking to someone else who has a heart for children. His main desire in his relationships with these young adults and children is to have a positive influence in their lives and help them be the best they can be. He enjoys riding his motorcycle and, although it is not a show stopper if a lady does not want to ride, it would be a plus if she would, or is open to giving it a try. He also enjoys hiking, speed biking, snowboarding, doing the incline, travel, theaters, concerts, cooking, and yard work. He has done bungee jumping, wants to learn scuba diving, and can build a house. He is very open on his preferences as far as height, age, and race. He has not dated since his divorce and is now ready to make his personal life a priority. He has a dry, quick wit and enjoyed challenging me. It was all in good fun but he did zap me a couple of times. He is tall, fit, financially stable and has no debt. I would naturally have some good matches for him because of his age and height but because he is so open on his preferences I mega matches for him. He is going to be a fun client to work with.

I have another wedding to go to tomorrow, tis’ the season. This couple has been together for five years and I recall she almost did not meet him because she thought he was “too short”, although he is three inches taller than her. I said “Take an hour to meet him and if you aren’t interested I won’t count him as a match.” Just a reminder to you ladies, the right man might not be as tall as you would prefer but, he can still be the right man.

To be continued………………………..