October 12, 2011

My first appointment today is a man, late 50’s, divorced, educated, grown kids and his long term goal is marriage. He married a second time shortly after his first long term marriage ended and, unfortunately, the second marriage did not last very long. It is a common scenario for men just out of long term marriages to marry again fairly quickly. Although he does not seem to have any regrets, he now sees the value in exploring his options and having a better basis of comparison. He is a strong believer and goes to church every week. He is physically active and enjoys mountain biking, tennis, hiking, working out, snowshoeing, cross country skiing and he has a Harley. I said “Is it important that the lady enjoys riding with you on the Harley?” He said “Oh, yes.” He loves theaters and plays and traveling. His age preference is 47 to 55. I said “I think you should date up to at least your own age and even a couple of years older. If you find her attractive and she can keep up with you that matters more than her age.” He agreed. I don’t know who is going to date in their own age range anymore when they get in their 50’s and 60’s because now women in that age range want to date younger. The conflict in dating too much younger is often that there are still children at home but he does not mind if there still children at home. He loves kids and he does not care how many there are, or how young. He said “I like shapely, curvy women, if you know what I mean.” I said “I know what you mean, BOOBS.” He said “And preferably, real.” Okey dokey.

My second appointment is a man, mid 50’s, widowed, educated and his long term goal is marriage. He is also a strong believer, Catholic, and he prefers a lady who is also Catholic. He has been widowed for over five years but he has not had any serious relationships, or even dated. He had a good marriage and it has been very difficult for him to move on. After five years he gets emotional when he talks about it. I am not sure he is really emotionally available and he is not sure either. He said “I loved being married and I want to be married again.” He has recently lost quite a bit of weight and is feeling better about himself. He wants to think about whether or not he wants to get involved. I said “Sometimes there is a fine line between when you are ready, and when getting out there and meeting new ladies can help you move on.” I told him to call me when he thinks the time is right.

I had a conversation with a client who met someone on his own and he is over the moon after just five days and four dates. Of course, I told him “The ones that start fast, end fast” but there was no controlling his enthusiasm. It still surprises me when couples meet and start talking about being each other’s perfect match after spending just hours together. I also suggested they not be intimate too quickly. He said “We already talked about that and we are not going to rush into anything.” I said “Three months.” He said “I don’t think we can wait that long.” I said “Two months.” He said “Maybe”… I’m thinking, maybe not. I am going to send him a test for her and get her “scores” to see how they compare to his. Is was wonderful to hear him sound so excited. Once in a great while this type of situation works out. I hope it does for them.

To be continued……………………….