September 7, 2010

My first appointment today is a man, late 20’s, ABS, but has physical custody of two young children. I have a lot of respect for this young man. After an “off again, on again” relationship of seven years, the mother of his children left a “Dear John” letter and was gone. She is now back in the children’s lives on a part time basis and the grandparents on both sides help care for the children. He has had the same stable job for seven years, he owns his home, his long term goal is marriage and he can go either way as far as having more children. I have no matches for him but I made him an offer and he is going to “think about it” and get back to me. It is always hard to tell someone I have no matches for them but I told him on the phone I knew I would have limited options because of his age, he’s a little young for my service, and his height, he is 5’3”. My regular programs start at 10 matches. I offered him 2 matches. He said “So what happens if no one who walks through your door is a good match for me?” I said “I keep looking until I do find a good match and there is no time frame on my service.” He said “So this could go on for years?” I said “Yes, or she could walk through my door next week or next month or next year and, meanwhile, I keep looking.” He is going to let me know next week.

My second appointment is a client coming in to reconnect for the third time. He is late 40’s, divorced, no children, retired military and almost twenty years into his second government job. He has been a client for over a year and I have matched him many times but nothing has clicked. He said “What is the reason I am so difficult to match?” I said “This is the third time you have come in to look at pictures and I think you are too focused on the physical.” He said “I am not looking for someone who is perfect, but I have to be attracted to her.” I said “Everybody has to be attracted, and it has to be mutual. You have passed on a couple of ladies I think you should meet in person.” He agreed. Everyone knows they have to be attracted to someone but not everyone realizes it has to be mutual.

My third appointment is a lady, mid 40’s, highly educated, divorced, children from pre kindergarten to junior high ages, and her long term goal is marriage. She is on an income level of over 250K and when I asked her he is had an income preference for a man she said “I don’t mind if I make more money than he does but I would want him to support and encourage me and not be intimidated by my income.” She is self employed and owns a business with a great potential to grow. The right man for her could possibly be a partner in this business. She has been through some rough times financially and is very happy to be in a comfortable place which she has worked very hard to achieve. Starting over, owns her own business, children to raise, excited and scared to begin dating, and a friend suggested she call me. She was impressed with the profile test and what her “scores” told me about her. She said “I don’t go to bars, I don’t think church is the right place to try to meet someone, all my friends are married, I won’t be dating anyone in my work environment, and I won’t do the internet. What does that leave?” I said “How about a professional matchmaker who does all the work and uses over twenty years of matchmaking experience to screen, hand select, and introduce you to quality, compatible men?” We have already agreed on her first match.

My fourth appointment is a man, late 20’s, ABS, his long term goal is marriage and he can go either way as far as having children. He is good looking, tall enough, great jobs, hard worker, smart, and mature beyond his years partially because he grew up in a family business. He said “I have been working since I was five years old.” I said “What!?” He said “I can remember being barely tall enough to reach a shelf but I was stacking stuff on it and getting paid, I loved it.” I said “What did you get paid?” He said “I don’t know, maybe it was just $20 a year but I could buy a lot of GI Joes for twenty bucks.” Today, he owns his home, makes 75K, has a thriving business and he is ready for a serious relationship. He said “I am so tired of the games women play is this age range. They live hand to mouth, they always want to borrow or spend my money, they don’t return calls and they are out in the bar scene four or five nights a week.” I said “That’s not true of the ladies I work with in your age range. They are here for the same reason you are, they want to meet someone special, and I charge them the same thing I charge the men.” His age preference is 23 to 35 and I can easily see him being compatible with a lady a few years older than him. He has been seeing my wall ads and finally decided to check it out. When he left he said “I can’t believe I did this but I am already glad I did.” I said “Good, because you are young, we have a lot of time to get this right.”

My fifth appointment is a lady, early 40’s, separated, almost divorced, educated, self employed with kids from elementary school to high school. She is a new client and after two matches I suggested she come in to look at pictures. I don’t usually show pictures this quickly but she did not find either of the first two men I introduced to her to be attractive. She is just starting to date after a long term marriage and constantly reminds me of the things her ex husband did or was and wants me to avoid matching her with men who might have those same characteristics. I said “You are just starting to date and you are doing something people out of long term relationships or marriages have a tendency to do…make everyone who follows guilty by association the minute he says or does something your ex did. Relax, have fun, don’t look too far down the road, you aren’t even divorced yet.” She said “I don’t have time to date unless it is someone I think has long term potential.” I said “You won’t know if he has long term potential until you date him. Slow, slow, down…just date, have fun, explore your options and quit looking for your ex husband’s bad habits.”

My sixth appointment is a lady, mid 20’s, ABS, got her degree, couldn’t find a job, joined the military two years ago, just back from a remote tour in the war zone, closes on her first home this week, back in school for an advanced degree and ready to settle down and have kids. She knows she will not be deployed again and she knows she will be staying in Colorado Springs when she gets out of the military in two years. She loves Colorado although she was raised on the east coast. She also complained that she was tired of the game playing she finds with men she meets on her own. She said “I am not thin and slender like most men want. I am 100 percent Italian and I have curves.” She is very fit and healthy and her curves are in the right places. She called me before she was deployed last time but could not find my office and decided to wait until she got back. Since she returned a few months ago she has dated enough to decide to call me again. She said “I can’t do this on my own, I need help.” Now I get to help her.

Today was a very busy day and also somewhat unusual in that I interviewed three people in their twenties. It gives me hope that people are getting smarter sooner, rather than later, when it comes to their personal lives and finding the right person.

To be continued tomorrow……………………………