September 9, 2010

My first appointment today is a client coming back to buy more matches. I started working with him in 2007 and on his last match he met a lady he has been with for almost two years. He joked at the time how it was ironic she was his last match and he would not be needing my services anymore. Unfortunately, that relationship did not work out because, according to him, she lost her mother in a tragic accident and she is consumed with grief. It has been months since the accident and no matter how supportive and understanding he has been he feels she is not the woman he fell in love with and the joy and fun has gone out of their relationship. They have tried everything but, again, according to him, she’s not happy unless she’s sad and she feels guilty when she’s not sad. She moved out of state to live with a dear, lifelong girlfriend and she is better but she is not coming back to Colorado Springs and he is not leaving Colorado Springs. I asked him when this had been decided and he said “Three months ago.” Then I asked him my favorite question, “are you emotionally available and in the right frame of mind to meet someone new and move on?” He said “I’m not sure.” My next favorite question, “if I was going to match you with a lady who was in the same situation with a man as you are with this lady, would that be comfortable for you?” There was a very long silence, which is not unusual when I ask that question, and he said “Yes, yes, I would be comfortable, because I know this relationship is over and I still want to find the right lady to spent the rest of my life with.” That may be the best answer I have ever gotten to that question.

My second appointment is a lady, mid 60’s, divorced, widowed, widowed, widowed. She said “You can’t tell them I have been widowed three times, they will think I am the kiss of death.” Two died of natural causes and one in a motorcycle accident. She said “You are probably going to think I am crazy but I still love riding on motorcycles.” I said “I don’t think you are crazy, lots of women enjoy riding on motorcycles, including me.” We bonded, but I don’t have any matches for her. Not because of her weight, she’s very fit, not because of her age, she’s very pretty, but, because…she smokes. She said “You have to be kidding me, because I SMOKE?” I said “I am not kidding you, it is the biggest limiting factor when it come to matching.” She said “Last week my grandson asked me if I would quit smoking because he did not like the way it smelled when I kissed him, and now, this.” She started to cry. I started to cry, I am a grandmother, too. We went out to dinner and that is why Donnas’ Daily Diary is a day late. She wants to quit smoking and then join Perfectly Matched. I hope she does.

To be continued tomorrow…………………….