April 14, 2012

My first appointment today is a man, early 30’s, ABS (always been single), educated, has a great job, owns his home, his long term goal is marriage and children. He is a referral from a man who was a client at Perfectly Matched ten years ago.

He said “My friend did not have any success meeting someone through you, but he said it was his own fault because he was not really emotionally available at the time.”
I said “It was nice of your friend to admit that, and still refer you to me.”
He said “He thought you were very nice and you did the best you could, considering he was not in the right frame of mind.”

This young man has two scores which are very motivating for him. His sociability score reflects that he is quite shy, and his finance score reflects that he is very budget minded.
He said “The problem I often have when I meet ladies on my own is that we are in different places. Many of them are living hand to mouth and looking for someone to support them. I have been very careful with my money and I want someone who has a similar attitude about being financially responsible.”
I said “With your score, you will definitely be most compatible with a lady who is VERY budget minded.”

He enjoys running, biking, football, baseball, soccer, dining out, bicycling, movies, reading, and considers himself a “coffee junkie”.
He is like your all American, next door good guy and I am thrilled to have him as a client at such a young age to help him find his perfect match.

When we went over the contract he read it slowly and carefully, and asked a number of questions. Most people read it pretty quickly, but with his finance score, it did not surprise me.
He said “ I am sorry this is taking me so long, but I need to clearly understand any contract I sign. You should have seen me at the closing on my house. They couldn’t wait to get rid of me by the time it was over.”
I said “I expect no less from a “3” in finance.”
The right lady for him will respect and appreciate his financial attitude, and, if she has a home, the closing probably took forever ,too.

My second appointment today is a man, early 50’s, divorced, educated, grown children, his long term goal is a serious, committed relationship, and he would consider marriage, with a prenuptial agreement. His last serious relationship ended when they reach the point of talking about marriage and he insisted on having a prenuptial.

He said “I have children and grandchildren. I will not risk their inheritance, and I would expect whomever I marry would want a prenuptial to protect her family and assets.”
His ideal situation would be to have a committed, long term, monogamous relationship with a lady who did not feel marriage was necessary.
He said “At this stage, I think marriage just complicates things and I can give my all to a relationship without being married.”

He has no regrets about the last relationship ending.
He said “Let’s just say that the disagreement over the prenuptial allowed me to see a side of her I did not know existed, and it was NOT good.”

His interests include photography, running, hiking, fishing, cooking, spectator sports, especially Colorado College hockey, concerts, music, and he would love to travel more with someone special. He has never been to Hawaii and thinks that would be a great place to take a romantic vacation.

His prefers to meet ladies in their 40’s but he also prefers a lady whose children are not still living at home.
I said “This is often the conflict with men who want to date younger, children are still at home.”
He said “If they are good kids and only have a year or two left at home that would be OK.”
I said “Can I look up to at least your own age and consider those ladies as well? If you find her attractive, that matters more than her age, and someone closer to your own age is more likely to not have children still living at home.”
He said “I will trust you, but I HAVE to be attracted to her.”
I said “I know, and she HAS to be attracted to you.”
People get so hung up on age, and it is the LEAST important thing if everything else is there and you find each other attractive.

I have some great matches for him and we have agreed his first match is going to be a lady who is exactly one year younger than him. They have the same birthday and I could not resist showing him her picture. Now I just have to hope she finds him attractive because she also prefers to date younger.

I think I will quit asking people what their age preferences is and just make the match!

To be continued……