April 5, 2012

My first appointment today is a “be back”, a man I interviewed three years ago. He is 48, divorced, educated, and his long term goal is marriage.

He said “I have met quite a few ladies since our interview three years ago, and I had a relationship with two of them. I was very clear about the fact that I want to be married again and they both agreed they would also like to be married again. However, a few months into the relationship, they changed their mind.”
I said “They changed their mind about wanting to be married, or wanting to marry YOU?”
He was quiet for a few seconds and said “I don’t know. I never considered it might be because they just did not want to marry me.”
I said “Maybe you are trying too hard to make sure someone wants to marry you before they have had a chance to get to know you well enough to consider marriage.”
He said “You should know if you do or don’t want to be married.”
I said “Not necessarily. When I ask someone what their long term goal is as far as a relationship is concerned, it is not uncommon for them to say they might want to marry again, and they may not know for sure until they meet the person they think they would want to marry.”
He said “Then only match me with ladies who say they know they want to married, no ifs, ands, or buts. One of the reasons I decided to come see you again is because I don’t want to waste anymore time dating someone who does not want to be married.”
I said “I will tell them your long term goal is to be married, no ifs, ands, or buts. I will also encourage you to date someone for at least three months before you ask them if they know they want to marry you.”
He said “You think I am coming on too strong?”
I said “I do, and if you ask someone to consider that commitment before they are ready, the answer is always going to be “no”. I think you should go through all four seasons, one year, before you consider marriage. One year is not that long to invest in a relationship that you want to last forever.”

My guess is that he simply has not met the right woman, and when he does, they will both know it, and everything will naturally fall into place. He is traditional and a strong believer and will be most compatible with a lady who does see marriage as her long term goal. I must admit, in these times when many people are so indecisive about marriage, it is nice to meet a man who definitely knows he wants to be married.

He is tall and he prefers a lady who is at least 5’6. His faith is important. He is open to any Christian faith and appreciates a lady who will join him in church. He is a voracious reader and enjoys exploring bookstores. He is a good cook and participates in a community garden so he can eat healthy. He does not have children, but he is fine with a lady who has independent, well adjusted children. He has a small dog and is fine with someone who has pets, even a cat….ONE cat.

He remembered a lady whose profile I shared with him three years ago and wanted to know if she was still available.
I said “She is NOT. She married a man I introduced her to a few months ago. They dated for a year, were engaged for a year, and seem very happy. I went to their wedding.”
He said “Good for her, and I hope someday you will be coming to my wedding.”
I said “You invite me, and I will be there.”

On that happy note, he signed the contract and the search is on. I’m gonna get this guy MARRIED!

To be continued……….