August 25, 2011

My first appointment today is a cutie, a lady, late 20’s, ABS, educated, her long term goal is marriage and children. She was in a eight year relationship that ended almost a year ago. She said “We met in college and I thought he was my forever, ever man. I thought we would marry and have kids and so did both our families.” She had been sewing beads on her wedding dress for three years. He went online and met a lady from another state and after spending four days with her he came home and ended their eight year relationship. Broken hearted, devastated and dumb founded were some of the adjectives she used to describe her feelings. She said “I cried, pleaded and begged him to reconsider but he left and moved out of state to be with her.” That relationship lasted three months and then he came back and cried and pleaded and begged her to take him back. She said “I couldn’t do it because I could never trust him again.” She finished sewing the beads on the wedding dress and sold it on E bay for $1000. She wanted to know what I could do for her for $1000. One of the nice things about owning my own business is I can do whatever I want and, while I don’t play games with my prices, I gave her an unlimited lifetime membership which did not even exist until she walked through my door. She is absolutely adorable, smart, pretty, sweet, kind, genuine, sincere, humble, and I have some great matches for her. She enjoys snowboarding, hiking, tennis, theaters, concerts, plays, travel, cooking and entertaining. She said “My mother is a fabulous cook and I have been cooking since I was six or seven. I love to experiment and try new recipes and I have dozens of cookbooks.” Every once in a while I met with someone and think “they deserve a break” and that certainly applies to this young lady.

My second appointment is a man, early 50’s, highly educated, divorced, two children in college, a strong believer, and his long term goal is marriage. He has had two short term relationships since he has been divorced and met both of them online. Fortunately he has been in counseling and when he shared with his counselor that he was considering letting a lady he met move to Colorado from another state after knowing her for less than three months the counselor discouraged him. As it turns out, it was the right decision. When he told her he had changed his mind he got to see her true colors. I know there are people who meet online and have successful relationships but online dating has become so polluted with people who are playing games, looking for someone to rescue them financially, and just plain dishonest about their intentions. People often ask me how I stay in business with all the online dating services available today and my response is “Online dating sends me more business than it takes away.” That becomes more and more true as time goes by, and it is not safe. That lady who recently went missing in Aruba met the man suspected of murdering her on When people come to me I tell them I am going to verify a valid driver’s license in the interview. I meet with everyone personally and I am involved before and after each meeting which takes care of all the game playing. This man enjoys skiing, hiking, golf, camping, climbing fourteeners, concerts and travel. When I asked him his age preference he said “37 to 52.” I said “So you will meet someone 15 years younger but not a year older than yourself, why limit yourself that way.” He will benefit greatly from my service because he really has no idea what kind of lady will be most compatible with him. Not because he is not smart but because he has no basis of comparison and he has been married since he was in his early twenties. He is going to get his kids squared away in college and give me a call back next week.

A lady I interviewed two days ago came back to sign up today and she had her Ideal Relationship already finished. The Ideal Relationship is something I ask my clients to take home and do in the right frame of mind. It is their opportunity to personalize the information I share on them to give the person they are meeting a better feel for them. I like her Ideal Relationship so much I am going to share what she wrote:
“As I am writing this I am imagining a relationship 10 years in. I think it is a good starting place when I contemplate the kind of man I wish to be with. This relationship has seen the wonderment of the beginning, the ensuing honesty of the true person that emerges and then the consequential beginning of the real relationship – where two people start loving each other for who they are and who they are not – and not just an idea. A relationship that has seen moments where words were not needed; moments where long drawn out discussions of MANY words were needed and moments where you just agree to disagree, and leave it at that. A relationship that has seen mutual respect, pleasure, contentment, kindness, passion, sadness, joy, disappointment, frustration, and humor, humor ,humor! Where a bit of romance goes a long way in the day to day routine, whether that is a flirty message written in lipstick on a bathroom mirror, a specific glance sent across a room full of people that only your significant other totally gets or the softness of a simple touch. Where pretense and the superficial have long since gone and understanding and appreciation has remained. A shared lifetime where two people choose to grow together by talking and listening – accepting the fact that expectations can often be one-sided and always ‘being right’ is costly. I am looking for a man who wants to participate in this journey right along with me – incorporating children and family – building something honest, real, and lasting and absolutely having fun in the process.” Do you think you meet serious minded people at Perfectly Matched? You Betcha!

To be continued…………