August 27, 2010

The first message on my answering machine this morning was from a client, a lady, telling me how great everything is going with the man I introduced her to a little over four months ago. She said “I think of you of often, usually when you are not in your office, so I thought I would just call and say things are going really great. We spend a lot of time together and the time always flies by and I just want to say thank you and give you an update that things are going extremely well.” I always appreciate a message like that, but especially from this young lady. She became a client in May 2007 and until this match she had a three month relationship with another man I matched her with in August 2007. Since then, nothing had really clicked. So many times I encouraged her to “hang in there, one right person is all we have to find.” I matched her with eight more matches than she initially purchased because I was determined to keep working with her until we found the right man and because she is one of the sweetest, honest, smart, hard working, genuine, stable, sincere young ladies I have ever had the pleasure of helping. She is a single mom raising her 13 year old daughter without any support or participation from the father and investing in my service was not easy for her. The man she is so happy with was a referral from his friend who met and married his wife through Perfectly Matched ten years ago. He has also called to say how happy he is and she was only his second match. Took three years for her, and one month for him. Of course, it is too soon to say this will go the distance after just four months but I think this couple is Perfectly Matched for sure, and, hopefully, forever.

My first appointment today is a client coming in to reconnect after a two year relationship has ended. This is a difficult one because they really care about each other but they have different ideas about parenting. She feels he enables his adult children and cannot set boundaries with them and he feels he has no choice but to help them. In all fairness to her, he agrees he needs to set boundaries but she got tired of waiting. Different parenting styles can very often be a show stopper, but I am somewhat hopeful they may find a way to work things out.

My second appointment is a lady, late 40’s, divorced, educated, grown children, and her long term goal is marriage, IF, “he’s absolutely the right one.” I said “How will you know he is absolutely the right one?” She pulled out her list which she obviously spent some time composing. I asked her if I could mention her list on Donnas’ Daily Diary and she said “sure, maybe some man will read it and think, this is the woman for me.”
1) I must be able to be myself and feel comfortable and safe with him.
2) There must be mutual respect and appreciation for one another.
3) There must be financial stability and security.
4) A sense of humor is very important.
5) We will share and enjoy our families and friends.
6) We enjoy many shared interest and activities; hiking, golf, travel, sporting events, concerts, skiing, cooking, and be open to try new things.
7) We will have a passionate and fulfilling intimate connection.
8) We know, and never doubt, that we trust one another.
9) We know how to communicate effectively, and with kindness, no matter the topic.
10) We keep ourselves fit and never lose our desire to be attractive to each other.
11) We continue to grow and learn together.
12) We try to never take each other for granted.
13) We are there for each other in good and bad times.
14) We love one another unconditionally.
She said “If you can find a man like this and have him look like Johnny Depp, that would be ideal. This was one of those “take a ticket and get in line” moments. I told her she was making my job easier because she already knows what she wants. Knowing what you want, writing it down, believing this person does exist, and you are half way there to finding him or her. Try it, it works.

To be continued tomorrow…..