Dear Donna: January 23rd, 2020

Dear Donna,

I have been dating a lady for several months and although we are intimate, she does not want to make a commitment.

She wants to just go with the flow and assures me it is alright with her if I want to keep my options open to date other women.

I am not sure how much more time I should commit to this relationship if she cannot make a commitment.


Dear Dan,

If someone you are dating is telling you to date other women, you should probably date other women.

Or, you might go with the flow and see what happens.

Are you having fun with her? Do you get along? Do you look forward to seeing her? Do you enjoy her company? Do you think she might have long term potential?

I would encourage you to focus on those aspects of the relationship as opposed to her not being ready to make a commitment right now.

I am not sure what kind of commitment you are looking for but this might just be a matter of timing. If everything else seems to be working, go with the flow and give her more time, at least a year.


Dear Donna,

I am in my 40's, recently divorced and trying to date.

I have not dated for twenty years and I guess I am not very good at it.

I meet men who seem interested and they either never call or fade away after a couple of dates.

I am not the most outgoing person and I find it difficult to mingle with strangers.

Do you have any suggestions?


Dear Christine,

Why don't you try attending some "meet up" groups? It is a good way to meet new people who are also looking to meet new people and they are not there for the purpose dating, although I am sure that happens occasionally.

There are meet up groups for almost everything today in most places.

Look on the internet for what is going on locally and pick something of interest to you and you will at least meet like minded people.

It will give you an opportunity to mingle without the pressure of any dating expectations.

You are recently divorced and just meeting new people, having fun and making friends might be much more comfortable for you and give you some practice to mix and mingle.