February 10, 2011

My first appointment on Wednesday is a man, mid 50’s, ABS, self employed, and his long term goal is undetermined. He said “When people discover my age and that I have always been single they think either a) I have commitment phobia or b) I’m gay.” I said “And how do you respond to that?” He said “I always thought I would be married and have kids and I have been engaged twice, the last time as recently as two years ago, but it did not happen. As for the people who think I am gay, they could not be more wrong.” He is no longer interested in having kids but he loves kids and is comfortable meeting a lady who has kids. He has a dog and cats and they are like his kids. He said “I know I want a serious, committed, monogamous relationship, but I am not sure that includes marriage. I am never going to say never and I would do almost anything to make the right lady happy, that could include marriage.” I asked him what his height preference is for a lady and he said “I know I am kind of a big guy but I like short, tiny ladies.” I said “Lots of big guys like short, tiny ladies.” He asked “Why do you think that is?” I said “Well, women tell me they like men who are taller and bigger than they are because it makes them feel more protected and petite and I think the opposite is true for men. They like women who are shorter and smaller than they are because it makes them feel more protective and big.” The reality is that feeling protected and petite or protective and big is all in your mind. The shortest, smallest man could be the one who makes you feel the most protected and petite and the taller, less petite woman could be the one who makes you feel the most protective and big. He agreed with everything I said but he still wants to meet short, tiny women. What can you do? He enjoys motorcycle riding, anything on the water, concerts, spending time with friends and family and his job. He said “The absolute most important thing I want to share is laughter. I want to laugh a lot and have fun.” I said “Considering everything you have shared with me, the lady that immediately comes to mind is 5’8 and weighs 160 pounds, has great scores with you, and is absolutely gorgeous.” She will be his first match and I told him “ If you are lucky, she will be interested in you.” He thought I was kidding, but I’m not. He is a very nice man but he has been limiting himself unnecessarily.

My second appointment on Wednesday is a lady, mid 30’s, divorced, educated, and her long term goal is marriage. She definitely does not want children. She said “The older I get, the more kids become a part of the picture and I do not get along with kids, they don’t like me.” I said “Why do you think kids don’t like you?” She said “I think they know I don’t like them.” That could do it. This is another story I often hear. She practically raised her two sisters and was tired of being a mother by the time she was 18. She is still like a mother to her sisters and that has fulfilled whatever maternal instincts she needed to fulfill. She said “Donna, just find me a man who wants to live a peaceful life. I want to come home from work, cook dinner together, share the events of the day, talk about what we will have for dinner the next day, decide on something fun to do for the weekend and have sex two or three times a week.” Simple…or Heaven if you find it.

My daughter gave me a plaque for my birthday from an artist, Kelly Rae Roberts. There is a picture of what appears to be an angel and written on the plaque are these statements which I want to share because they are all positive and make you think………………
1) Unleash your inner spirit
2) Embrace your truth
3) Let it go
4) Unleash your joy
5) Embrace vulnerability
6) Surround yourself with good people
7) Ask for what you need
8) Manifest courage
9) Find beauty in the small
10) Quiet the inner critic
11) Wear more skirts
12) Own your talent
13) Speak of your gratitude
14) Leap fearlessly
15) Do the thing you never thought you could do
I am focused on the last one and trying to decide what that will be………………………………………………………

To be continued tomorrow and I will catch up on last Thursday, Friday and Saturday before my new week starts on Tuesday…………………………