February 14, 2012

My first appointment is a lady, late 40’s, highly educated, divorced, grown children and one at home, self employed, very successful, and her long term goal is marriage. She is tall, fit, trim, beautiful and has met over two dozen men in the time she has been divorced. There has only been one man she was interested in and that has run its course. She said “I have had enough first-last dates. It is exhausting, time consuming, and frustrating.” Her friends are constantly trying to set her up with men they think would be a good match for her and she has a hard time understanding how they think she would be interested in the men they have suggested. I told her people often tell me that their friends make the worse matches because they don’t consider the physical attraction part of the match. She came in for the interview because she is curious about how I match and how it would be different from what she has experienced meeting men online and through her friends.

She has a lot to offer, so she is looking for a lot in return. She works out regularly to stay in great shape, and appreciates a man who is also fit. She said “I did some online dating, and in the beginning, I assumed if they said they wanted a lady who was fit, that they would be fit. Big mistake!” I had to laugh because I cannot tell you how often I have been interviewing a man who is not fit, but says he wants a lady to be fit. I say “Well, if she is fit, she probably prefers a man who is fit.” They usually say something like “I’m working on it.” I say “What if she is working on it?” The message is, “get real”. Women are becoming just as picky as men when it comes to the weight issue. She also prefers a man who is at least 5’11, ideally 6’ or taller would be better.

In addition to working out, she enjoys skiing, camping, jet skiing, hiking, biking, reading, theater, concerts, socializing, weekend getaways, and traveling.
She wants to “think about it” and get back to me in a couple of days. My gut feeling is that she will follow through and be a new client soon.

My second appointment is a man, mid 60’s, highly educated, divorced, grown children, and his long term goal is marriage, if necessary. His scores are very unique. He is a “3” in conformity, a nonconformist, and a “1” in religion, agnostic. Marriage would not be necessary for him to be in a committed relationship. Although he worked during his marriage, his ex-wife made a much higher income, and he was more responsible for raising the children. He is very proud of his children and considers them his biggest and best accomplishment. I told him I certainly respected him making his children a priority but, the reality is, his income level will be a limiting factor as for as matching him is concerned.

He said “I am aware that most women are interested in meeting a man who makes much more money than I do.” I said “They are looking for a man who will be on a compatible income level with them and, in this age range, most of the ladies I work with are on a much higher income level.” As I went through my client base, I have at least two ladies who appear to be a good match for him. He appreciated me being upfront with him and that I can identify the ladies who will feel he is a compatible match for them. Not only in reference to the income, but also his unique scores.

His interests include, dining out, cooking, watching film, which, according to him, is different from watching movies, and occasionally traveling. One of the ladies I spoke to him about really enjoys dancing. He said “You can count me out for her, to me, dancing is chewing gum for the feet.”

In all fairness, I offered him less matches than my regular programs. He said “I am going to invest in your service but it will be about a month before I can pay you.” I said “Keep in mind that I continuously add new clients and could have other compatible matches in the future.” He said “I like your process of matching and I think you are much more likely to find her than I am.”
There is someone for everyone, even someone who thinks dancing is chewing gum for the feet.

I decided to Google Valentine’s day and basically what I learned is that it is a hoilday whose origins go back to a pagan ritual in third century ancient Rome that started with an animal sacrifice and today results in the sale of 448 million dollars being spent on candy the week before February 14th. That’s it in a nutshell..Happy Valentine’s Day!

To be continued…..