February 3, 2011

My first appointment on Wednesday is a man, early 50’s, divorced, grown children, educated, a successful realtor, semi-retired, and his long term goal is a committed, long term relationship, possibly marriage. He said “I am at a place in my life where I have time and money and I want to enjoy it with someone special.” He was a workaholic for many years but a divorce and a heart attack got his attention and he has made some serious life style changes. He said “Today, watching my cholesterol and blood pressure go down is more exciting than watching my bank accounts go up.” He lost weight, changed his diet, practices yoga and meditates. A friend talked him into yoga and initially he did not think it would be his cup of tea. He said “I am more flexible than I ever thought I could be and the stretching makes me feel so good I do it throughout the day.” He knows he is a different person and wishes he had gotten his priorities in order much sooner. He said “I have a better relationship with my ex-wife and children and their support through all of this was one of the main reasons I have succeeded.” He has been dating for a few years and has had several relationships that lasted a few months. I said “Most relationships that do not work out last about three months.” He said “Why?” I said “Because it takes most people about three months to be relaxed enough to be themselves and that is when you start to identify the things that do and don’t work.” That was good news to him because he was thinking maybe he was cursed to continuously have relationships that only lasted three months. He was impressed with the profile test and all the other criteria I pay attention to when I make a match. He said “I guess it is pretty naïve to think I could find someone right for me on my own based mainly on physical attraction.” I said “That’s how most people do it on their own and that’s why the divorce rate is out of control. Physical attraction only takes you so far.” Before he even had a chance to say it, I said “But, of course, you also have to be physically attracted to each other.” What I do at Perfectly Matched is opposite of what people do on their own. I start with the things that matter; compatibility, similar long term goals, shared interests and activities, and pay attention to the issues like smoking, drinking, kids, pets, income, intellectual compatibility then ADD the mutual physical attraction. When couples meet through Perfectly Matched and there is a mutual physical attraction, there is so much more potential for success. Ironically, the first lady I am going to match him with appears to be a very good match and she is a yoga instructor. Stretch……………….

My second appointment Wednesday is a lady, late 50’s, divorced, two kids in college, highly educated, and her long term goal is marriage. She has been divorced for a very long time and she has not had a serious relationship for a very long time. She said “I really don’t want to go through the rest of my life alone and I feel I would be a great companion for the right man.” She is right. She is funny, kind, smart, genuine, a great communicator, optimistic, and realistic. She said “I know men my age want to date younger women but there has to be someone for me, don’t you think?” I told her I definitely think there is someone for her and it only takes one right one. She said “If all I get out of this are a couple of good friends that would be OK, too.” She has the right attitude because wherever anything goes, it starts with the friendship.

Today my first appointment is a lady, mid 30’s, ABS, a teacher, and her long term goal is marriage and children. She is traditional and a strong believer and sharing her faith with the right person will be very important. She said “I can’t believe I am not yet married. I thought by now I would be married and have a couple of kids. I very much want to be a mother and raise my children with a Godly man who will be the leader of our family.” She is a “9” in religion on a scale of “0” to “10”. She is shy and meeting men is not easy for her. She said “ Meeting someone I do not know for even one hour will be difficult.” I said “Once you do it once or twice it will be easier and it can be easy the first time if there is a connection and attraction.” She said “I guess I will have to go out of my comfort zone but if this works it will be worth it.” I will make it as easy for her as I possibly can.

My second appointment is the lady who finally got her garage door unfrozen then her car wouldn’t start. She said “I wonder if this is the universe’s way of telling me maybe I should not be trying to do this?” I said “I think it is the 30 below zero temperature and there are probably plenty of frozen garage doors and cars that won’t start.” She had her battery replaced and she is coming in tomorrow…knock on wood.

To be continued…………