January 13, 2011

My first appointment today is a man, 50, divorced, shared custody of one child, and his long term goal is a long term relationship and possibly marriage if “she was absolutely, positively, the right one.” I said “How will you know if she is absolutely, positively the right one?” He said “I don’t know, but I believe it is possible.” He is a very charming, likeable fellow. He is half black, half white and I said “When you are asked your race what do you say?” He said “I say mixed.”
He wanted to know how his race would affect my ability to match him. He said “Do you ask your clients what their race preference is?” I said “Yes, of course.” He said “What is their response if they are not open to different races.” I said “Many of them say they are not prejudice but their family might have a problem with them dating someone of another race.” He said “What will you say to them about me?” I said “I will say you are a good looking, classy, smart, funny, charming, sweet mixed man.” Fortunately, he thought that was funny. Seriously, I will tell whomever I match him with that one of his parents is black and the other is white, and he is a very handsome man. I will not match him with anyone who does not respond positively, and just as I look for him to meet their preferences, I look for the ladies to meet his preferences. He is also a writer of books and poetry and when he is in a relationship he makes his own cards with his own words for special occasions. He said “I really appreciate a lady who is classy and knows how to dress.” I said “Like you?” He said “I just have on jeans.” Jeans with a button down shirt, color coordinated scarf, wool overcoat and great shoes, very classy. I like this man and I look forward to helping him find someone who is “absolutely, positively the right one.”

My second appointment is a lady, early 50’s, divorced, self employed, successful, one child, and her long term goal is a committed relationship. She is unsure of marriage. I told her there are all kinds of different living arrangements among my clients from marriage, to living together, to keeping separate residences. She said “That sounds good to me, being in a committed relationship where we spent time at my place, his place, and have our own space when we want it.”
She is very physically active and in great shape and LOVES to travel. She said “Many of my trips are planned around hiking or biking and sometimes you find yourself sleeping in a tent. I prefer a cabin or hotel but I can do the tent thing for a few days.” She stays in modest hotels for the most part but once in awhile she just has to do a Club Med trip and be totally pampered. She is interviewing dating services and doing her homework before she makes a decision. She already had one interview yesterday and has another tomorrow in Denver. She knows a number of people who have used my service and she said they had positive things to say about their experience. She recognizes she will probably have a larger pool of men in Denver but they will live in Denver. She is going to call me when she decides and she is willing to share her experiences in the other interviews with me. I look forward to her report.

My third appointment is a man, mid 30’s, ABS, Masters degree, his long term goal is marriage and children. He is Asian and in his email he said “race matters to people more than they are willing to admit.” I told him I would only match him with ladies who are open to his race. The interview did not last very long because he is not sure he is going to stay in Colorado Springs. He is just back from a contracting job that took him out of the country for a year and he is not finding the job he is looking for in Colorado Springs. He thinks he will know whether or not he will be staying here by March. If he stays I think he will be a new client. I have three ladies who appear to be good matches for him.

One of my very favorite clients called to tell me he asked the lady I matched him with one year ago to marry him. I matched him for two years before this lady walked through my door and he was her first match. He was widowed for a few years when I met him and he had been married for almost 40 years. He dated a couple of the ladies I matched him with for a few months and each time it ended he said “maybe I’m just not meant to find the right person, maybe I’m too picky, maybe she doesn’t exist.” I kept encouraging him and I often said “It only takes one right one.” Today he said “Do you remember what I said to you the last time you told me “it only takes one right one?” I said “Yes, you said, then find her, damn it.” And I did!

To be continued…………………..