January 27, 2011

My first appointment on Wednesday is a man, early 40’s, divorced, no children, educated, tall, and his long term goal is marriage. He said “Does anyone want to get married anymore?” The last two ladies he was interested in and attracted to were not interested in marriage. He said “I am finally at a place in my life where I am ready to marry and it seems as though everyone else has already been married and not interested in being married again.” I said “According to your scores, you are very traditional and a strong believer. A compatible lady for you would be very traditional and a strong believer and, mostly likely, her long term goal would also be marriage.” He said “You give a lot of credit to these scores.” I said “It cannot be a coincidence that the couples who continue to work out are the ones who have the most compatible scores.” We proceeded to have a lengthy conversation about the scores. He said “My affection score is only a “7” and I know I am a very affectionate person. I think my score should be higher. I think I am a “10” (on a scale of “0” to “10”).” I said “Do you need, want, and must have attention all the time? Are you smothering, possessive, jealous, insecure and lack self confidence?” He said “No!” I said “Then you are not a “10”.” Be careful what you wish for. He said “What does a “7” mean?” I said “That you are definitely affectionate and romantic but you are also somewhat independent and you do need your space, even in a relationship, and you would not be compatible with a lady who tried to smother you.” Then we dissected each of his scores until he ran out of time. He said “I have to go to another appointment but this has been one of the most enlightening hours of my life. Here’s my credit card, send me the contract in the mail, I will sign it and send it back and I am ready to get started.” After he left so abruptly I realized he did not know the cost of my service. I called him and said “Would you like to know what this cost?” He said “I’m on a call, just put it in the contract.” It would be so much fun to fill out a contract and put $20,000 for the price and see how he responds. I think I’ll do it.

My second appointment is a man, mid 30’s, ABS, Asian, self employed, very bright, funny, successful, and what a charmer! He walked through the door with a smile so bright I thought I almost saw those little stars twinkle, like the toothpaste commercial. The first words out of his mouth were “If you aren’t single, I hope you have a sister who is.” I am old enough to be his mother, and I am sure he knew that, but it was still fun to hear. He said “American women are attracted to big, tall men and that’s not me, so I asked an American female friend what I could do to compensate for not being a big guy.” She said “Make them laugh.” He became a comedian overnight and discovered a hidden talent. He is 5’9,not so short, and weighs 175…not thin at all. He said “I went to the gym and pumped it up.” He said “One thing ladies compliment me on more than anything is my smile and white teeth so they have gotten whiter and whiter. This shade is called Toilet Bowl white.” I have pictures of my daughters in my office and he said “Are they single?” I said “No, they are both married for over 10 years.” He said “Are either of them planning to be divorced any time soon?” Finally, he got serious and said “I want to love and adore a woman, and be loved and adored by a woman.” He is open to all races, has no height preference, has no absolute long term goal, and is all together very flexible. He is a self made man with an incredible spirit and I think sharing a life with him will be a fabulous journey for the right lady.

My third appointment did not have an appointment. He is a client, military fellow who signed up last May. He was not interested in the lady who was his first match and he was very clear with me in his feedback “She was a nice, nice lady but maybe I should bring you some pictures of ladies I have been with to give you a better idea of what I am attracted to.” In October a lady became a new client and responded very positively to his information. I left him a voice message once, twice, three times, and never heard back from him. This Saturday he left me a message and said “I should have let you know I was deployed for four months and that lady you were calling me about is probably not available but give me a call.” She is available, I made the match, and he stopped by to tell me he really, really liked her. I have not heard back from her yet but I hope she is interested.

My fourth appointment is a lady, mid 40’s, divorced, two kids, shared custody, smart, great sense of humor, real down to earth, and her long term goal is marriage. She has taken other personality test and she said “Yep, as usual, I am middle of the road.” This interview was a reminder to me that, no matter how much I believe in these scores, there are always exceptions to the rule. She did not seem middle of the road at all and the mere fact that she refers to herself as middle of the road is unique. Her sociability score says she is shy, and she agreed, but once she was comfortable with me (which took about one minute), she shared herself and her feelings in a way that few people can. We laughed a lot and she has a real peacefulness about her. I am very happy to have the opportunity to help her find the right man.

My first appointment today is a client coming in to reconnect. He is early 40’s, divorced, no kids, highly educated and his long term goal is marriage. He is open to having children. He is 5’8 and weighs about 260. He is working on his weight and has lost ten pounds. He is handsome, very successful and financially stable and secure. He has had a very secure job with a high salary for almost a dozen years. October, laid off. November, new job, 20K less. December, promotion, back to his previous salary. He said it was an experience that was “humbling”. I said “You have no idea how many people I work with who have been laid off and looking for jobs for months, even years.” He said “I am overweight but otherwise healthy. All my vital organs are fine, my blood pressure, cholesterol.” The bottom line is, he knows he will have more options if he loses weight. In the meantime, we look for someone who likes him just the way he is.

My second appointment today called and said she had to reschedule because she has the flu. I realized that is the first time I have heard the flu mentioned this flu season. I shared that with a client I was talking with later and he said “Flu season is not over until March, April, you should still get your shot.” Walgreen’s, 20 bucks!

Tomorrow I have appointments with two men, both mid 40’s. One is a “be back” from last October, and the other is a referral from two clients who told him he should call me. They both sound like great guys.

To be continued…………………..