January 3, 2012

My first appointment today is a man, mid 60’s, divorced, educated, grown children, and his long term goal is marriage. He is quite the interesting fellow. He was born and raised in the United Kingdom but he has been coming to the US consistently since he was in his 20’s. He has been in Colorado Springs for a couple of years but he travels frequently for business and pleasure. He thinks nothing of packing his bags to go visit a friend for a few days at the spur of the moment, even if that friend lives in France. He has friends and connections all over the world.

I asked him what he likes to do for fun and he said “Chew gum, get drunk and chase girls, and that’s before breakfast.” He is very funny and has a number of great one liners. His interests and activities include travel, reading, music, theaters, concerts, plays, polo, skiing, dancing, local history, American history, and he loves to cook.

He asked me if he could talk to someone who is currently a client before he made the decision to join. I said “Of course, but I will obviously connect you with someone who will say marvelous, complimentary things about me and my service.” He said “I can appreciate that, but I have some questions for the person who has been on the other side of this process that you cannot answer.” I agreed and immediately knew who I would ask to talk with him and told him her name. I called her as soon as he walked out of my office and they spoke tonight and he is coming back next week to become a client. Sometimes you have to go the extra mile and in this case I knew he would be a new client. I just had to put the icing on the cake.

My second appointment today is the two ladies who are best friends who wanted to come in for the interview together. One of them is 34, ABS, and her long term goal is marriage. She has always been single but she has a young child. The conflict in matching her is her weight, and we talked about that over the phone before she booked the interview. However, another conflict is that, although she has a child, she does not want to meet anyone who has children and she does not want any more children.

I said “It is unrealistic for you to expect to meet someone who does not have children when you have a child, and if they do not have children, they very likely will want children, or prefer to meet someone who does not have children.”

She said “I don’t like kids. I never wanted kids, and I love my child but I don’t want anyone else’s kid in the picture.” I told her I had no matches for her but I will hold on to her paperwork and if I have someone I will give her a call. She said “I am not surprised. I did not expect that you would have any matches for me.”

Her girlfriend, however, is early 30’s, ABS, tall, thin, active, her long term goal is marriage and children. She enjoys reading, hiking, snowboarding, swimming, concerts, theater, and travel. She travels outside the country once a year and has visited Germany, Spain, Italy, and Greece. She does the incline, 5K’s, and is a vegetarian. She has done the “Dirty Girl” and is going to do the “Warrior Dash”. She is very open on her preferences and will even meet men who are shorter than her if they are comfortable with her height. She is open to all races, she does not mind if they have kids, as long as they want kids, and she is very, very sweet. She is now a new client.

My third appointment is a lady, mid 40’s, divorced, highly educated, a teacher, and her long term goal is a serious relationship, possibly marriage. She loves to hike, run, and work out. She enjoys reading, rock climbing, the beach, home improvement, and is training to do the Pikes Peak Ascent. Her sister was a previous client and she referred her to me.

I have some great matches for her and she is excited about being a new client but she is quite shy and very nervous about meeting new men. I said “Look, I do all the work, all you have to do is agree to meet them for one hour and call me with your feedback.” She said “I can do that.” I told her to take three deep breaths before she gets out of her car to meet them and, if she is feeling nervous say “I am nervous.” Then you don’t have to pretend you are nervous and they will almost always say something like “There’s nothing to be nervous about” or “I am nervous, too”, but at least you don’t have to pretend you are not nervous. I really empathize with shy people. It is so much harder for them than us outgoing folks who can walk into a room with a hundred people and mix, and mingle, and be comfortable. I don’t have a shy bone in my body, being a “9” on a scale of “0” to “10” in sociability, but I have definitely come to understand how difficult it is for shy people to meet someone new for the first time, and I do whatever I can to make it more comfortable for them.

Tomorrow I have two appointments, a man, late 30’s and a lady early 40’s. The beat goes on…..

To be continued………………………..