January 5, 2011

My first appointment today is a previous client. I first worked with him in 1999. He met a lady on his own about six years ago. They married but she became ill and died. He is ready to start dating again and I am very happy to have the opportunity to help him find a special lady. He is mid 50’s, has grown children, educated, self employed, into real estate and investing, and his long term goal is marriage. He said “I had a very happy marriage the second time and I want to be happily married again.” He is a fairly strong believer and his faith has deepened and grown since he lost his wife. He said “I know some ladies will wonder if I might compare them to my wife but I have those feelings in their proper place and I know I can give my whole heart to the right person.” He is the nicest man. He is very fit and active, skis, hikes, bikes, horseback riding, and he loves animals. He asked about one of the ladies he had dated briefly just before he met his wife and I told him she was in a five year relationship with a man I matched her with and I receive a Christmas card from them every year. He was very happy to hear she is happy. He said “I always met such great qualities ladies through you and I knew when I was ready I would call you.” I already had his first match in mind and when I shared her information he agreed she sounds like a very good match. I called her when he left my office and she is excited to meet him.

My second appointment is the late 70’s lady I mentioned yesterday who is widowed. Her scores from the profile test were NOT what I expected. She is a “9” in temperament (on a scale of “0” to “10”), extremely easy going, a “4” in conformity, a “1.5” in religion and “8.5” in affection. I said “Your affection score is “8.5” on a scale of “0” to “10”, does that surprise you?” She said “Oh, no, my husband was a very affectionate man and he like to cuddle. I miss that, but I am 80 years old and I am not interested in sex. I want a man to go out to dinner, to have good conversation, to go dancing, maybe take some road trips, but I don’t want sex.” I have one possibility as far as a match but he still likes to travel all over the world and she is not interested in flying anymore. She said “I have lived all over the world and seen it all and flying is a pain in the you-know-what today.” She asked me why I kept laughing and I said “You are FUNNY.” She said “Everybody tells me that.” I agreed to sell her one match. I think this is the third time in 20 years I have offered someone one match. I said “If this man I mentioned to you is not interested then I will start looking, are you OK with that?” She said “What else am I going to do, I don’t think he’s going to come knocking on my door.” She is a pistol and I hope I can find a match for her.

My third appointment is a lady, early 40’s, ABS, educated and her long term goal is “negotiable”. I said “What you do mean by negotiable?” She said “Well, I would have kids if I could be a stay at home mom, BUT, I could also not have kids and that would be OK. I could marry, BUT, I could also be in a relationship without being married. I could live with someone, BUT, I could also be happy having separate residences. I would prefer someone who has no kids, BUT, if they were grown and lived out of state that would be OK.” Her scores were 6-6-6-6-6-6 and when I showed them to her on a graph she said “It makes me look like a flat liner.” She asked me if I had anyone else whose scores were all 6’s and I told her I had seen it a few times. She said “You mean there are a few people who are as boring as me?” I said “I am sure you are not boring.” She said “Yes, I am. I even bore myself.” This lady is extremely bright but she has not been in a successful relationship and she thinks something must be wrong with her. I said “Maybe the only thing wrong with you is that you have not been with the right man.” She said “That’s what my sister says.” She is now a new client and she said “When you share my scores could you make one of them something other than a “6”. I said “sure, which one?” She said “make me a “7” in affection.” I think we are off to the right start.

To be continued………