My first appointment today is a lady, mid 60’s, widowed, highly educated, retired, grown children, and her long term goal is a serious, long term relationship, possibly marriage. I said “When did you retire?” She said “When I got married.” We both laughed, it just seemed funny. She joined a dating service in Denver and she said “They sent me old men. Most of them were in my age range but they looked and felt old.” She is very fit and adorable looking. She said “I know men in this age range want to date younger women and I have to be realistic about how many men are interested in ladies my age and I’m sorry, but I have to be attracted to him.” I said “ Don’t be sorry, everyone has to be attracted for it to progress to romance.” She said “This is such new territory for me and I don’t know what to expect.” I said “ After 24 years, I do more counseling than matchmaking and I can be very helpful to you as I match you and get the feedback from you and on you.” She was referred to me by her friend who has met a very special man through Perfectly Matched. She loves golf and a man who can, or is willing to try golf would be great. She enjoys cooking and entertaining, volunteer work, the symphony, working out and travel. A lot of travel. She has been all over the world and appreciates a man who is well traveled and still wants to travel. She said “I have a great life and if the right man does not come along I am still a happy and blessed woman but It would be amazing to have a special man to share the rest of my life.” It’s the only thing missing.
My second appointment is also a referral. He is late 30’s, ABS, always been single, self employed, his long term goal is marriage and children. His friend has tried to get him to call me for years. He said “I can’t complain to him any more about my dating adventures because all he says is “Call Donna.” He said “I am good looking, have a great business, love my family, and I want kids.” In the first ten minutes I heard about all his toys, cars, boats, houses, etc., and he does not understand why he keeps attracting ladies who are only interested in his money. I said “I am not saying this is true of you, but when ladies call me with feedback on a man who has talked about all his “stuff” it is a turn off. Like they wouldn’t like you if you didn’t have “stuff”. He said “That’s what my sister said.” More men should listen to their sisters. My experience has been that sisters, more than friends, more than any other family member, seem to give the best advice. I asked him “On a scale of “0” to “10” how important is the physical attraction?” He said “9”! I said “You know what most people say?” He said “No.” I said “7”. He said “Do you think I am a “9”? I said “No, I think you are a “7”.” I have to have fun with this sometimes. He truly is a great guy and so ready to be married and start a family. He said “I want a woman who will be a great mother and I will be a great father.” As he was walking out the door we shook hands and I said “Really, you are an “8” I just couldn’t resist giving you a hard time. He said “That’s OK, because I am really a “9”…touché…
I was watching a Sex in the City rerun and they were talking about how often it happens that you go out with someone the first time and it goes good enough to get together a second time, they had a fabulous second date and never heard from that person again. The lady who plays the red headed attorney said “I just pretend they died.” Food for thought.
To be continued……………….