My first appointment today is a lady, mid 50’s, divorced, highly educated, grown children, her long term goal is a serious relationship, she would consider marriage, and she would consider living with someone.
She said “I believe in marriage, with the right person, for the right reasons.”
She ended a long term marriage several years ago and has had two significant relationships in that time.
She said “In both of those relationships, I made much more money than they did and I feel like I need to find someone more financially compatible with me. I want someone who can afford to take off for a weekend and go to San Diego, or a couple of weeks to go to Europe.”
I said “I agree, and I definitely focus on someone with a compatible income level for the very reason you mentioned. Having compatible incomes means you can both make similar lifestyle choices.”
She travels frequently outside the country with her job, and she also like to travel for fun. She enjoys water rafting, hiking, biking, occasionally downhill skiing, baseball, and she loves, loves, loves football. I think I can safely say she is the first lady I have ever interviewed in her age range who plays fantasy football! She also enjoys music, theater, anything culturally, dancing, cooking, and entertaining at home.
She appreciates a man who takes care of himself, is intellectually curious, has a good sense of humor, is self confident, and knows how to dress nicely.
Most people don’t realize when they describe what they would like to find in a partner, they are usually describing themselves.
She said “I have seen your ads all over downtown and I have read your daily dairy for quite some time. When I read that you were offering 50% off your programs, I decided this was the right time to call you. I also don’t want to spend years in another relationship that ultimately does not last long term.”
She is tall, fit, pretty, smart, and I have some great matches for her.
I had a conversation with a client who had decided he did not want to see a lady I introduced to him after their first date. The initial meeting went well, but when the first date ended he was feeling she was not right for him.
He said “she didn’t drink her drink, she didn’t eat her food, and when I started to give her a hug goodnight she about jumped out of her skin.”
She had already called me about the date because she thought she might have turned him off.
She said “Donna, it has been so long since I have felt a connection to a man, it scared me. I like him. I feel comfortable with him and I would like to see him again, if he is still interested.”
I told him that she had called me and was afraid she might have turned him off, but that was not her intention.
I said “She LIKES you, she feels comfortable with you. She shared things with you conversation she has never shared with a man. She was nervous, scared, and definitely did not mean to discourage you. Let’s focus on all the things you liked about her after your initial meeting and give it one more try.
He said “I’ll think about it.”
I said “Are you attracted to her?”
He said “Why do you always ask that question?”
I said “Because if you are not attracted to her, none of this matters, and, if you are, you are much more likely to work things out.”
They went out again that night and I think it is going to work out just fine.
Seriously, I do more coaching, counseling, whatever you want to call it, than I do matchmaking! Sometimes it’s nice to have a middle man, or woman.
To be continued………………..