My first appointment today is a man, early 50’s, divorced, educated, grown children, self employed, and his long term goal is definitely to be married again.
I said “It’s nice to hear someone be so positive about the fact that they want to be married again. Many people I interview, especially in this age range, are ambivalent about marriage, or, in fact, say they definitely do NOT want to be married again.”
He said “Three years ago, I would have said I did not want to be married again, but in my last relationship we lived together for two years and I enjoyed the closeness, the togetherness, the day to day sharing of our lives. I would have married her.”
That relationship ended several months ago because she moved out of state to care for her ailing mother.
He said “We saw each other a couple of times the first month, but it was not the same. We mutually agreed to make ourselves available to date others, and she met someone pretty quickly.”
I said “Do you think you are emotionally in the right frame of mind to meet someone new and move on? Is there any chance the two of you might reconnect?”
He said “No, she has already decided when her mother passes she wants to stay in her hometown. I have been dating, but I am not meeting anyone I am excited about, that is why I called you.”
His age preference for a lady is 42 to 50.
I said “That’s reasonable, but if I have a good match for you and she is your age, or even a year or two older, would you want to meet her?”
He said “I will trust your judgment.”
I said “Good, you just saved me from giving you my “age is the least important thing if you find her attractive and she can keep up with you” speech.”
He said “Look, I am no Tom Cruise, and I want someone fit and fairly active but someone with a good heart matters a great deal to me.”
I said “What else matters?”
He said “I want someone who is as crazy for me as I am for her. I want to laugh, have fun, travel, make dinner together, dance, hike, hold hands, be close, enjoy a great physical relationship, be connected to each other’s families, enjoy the holidays, celebrate birthdays, have great communication, and share a happy home.”
I said “You haven’t thought about this at all, have you?” He laughed, and his whole demeanor changed.
He said “If you can find me a woman like this I will…”
I interrupted him and said “Oh, oh I think you are going to be a ‘Bonus” guy.”
He said “What’s that?”
I said “I think you are about to offer me a bonus if I find you the right lady and I have to tell you, if you do, I will have you put it in writing. Over the years realized that even when I found the right person, in only one case did I actually get the bonus. About a year ago I decided, mostly for fun, to put it in writing, so be careful what you offer.”
He said “I will put it in writing, and be happy to give you a five thousand dollar bonus if you find me a lady I marry!”
Lucky me, I have lots of matches for him, and it only takes one right one!
My second appointment is a lady, mid 40’s, divorced, no children, and her long term goal is possibly marriage. She would also consider living with someone if the relationship has long term potential. I met her through mutual friends and after chatting with her for awhile, I started thinking about a couple of my clients I thought might be good matches for her.
I said “I think I have clients that could be a good match for you. Have you ever thought about a dating service?”
She said “I have seen your ads all over town and I have known about your business for years, but I am not sure about joining a dating service.”
I said “If you will take an hour of your time to come in for the interview, I will give you a couple of complimentary introductions.”
I don’t do this very often, but occasionally I cannot resist, especially if I have a client I think would like to meet her. The main think I look for when I do offer a complimentary introduction is that it is someone who takes this seriously and once I interview them, I know if they are serious. She is very serious. She came in nicely dressed, a little nervous, very open in sharing with me about herself and the kind of man she wants to meet, and very appreciative of the fact that I was willing to do this for her on a complimentary basis.
She loves gardening, and has a huge garden in her backyard. She likes to travel and has been to Europe, Italy, France, Austria, Germany, China, Korea and Spain. She enjoys going to Denver for the museums, Botanical Gardens, and also likes getting away to the mountains.
She is tall and tan and young and lovely, just like the girl from Ipanema.
She has compatible scores with the men I thought about when I met her. It will be fun to see if I am right about her being a good match for them, and, of course, they have to be a good match for her.
It’s time to say it again…I LOVE MY JOB!!!
To be continued……..