My first appointment today is a lady, mid 30’s, ABS (always been single), educated, her long term long is marriage and she can go either way as far as having children.
She said “I have lost 80 pounds in the last four years and I am working out with a personal trainer. I feel really good about myself and I think now is the right time meet the right man.”
I asked her how she lost 80 pounds and she said “Portion control and exercise.”
She is very shy, a “4” on a scale of “0” to “10”.
I said “I know it can’t be easy for you to come in here and do something like this.”
She said “I have been holding onto your phone number for a year.”
She loves movies, the hot springs, reading, and traveling.
She said “I applied for a passport because I want to travel outside the country.”
She recently went to Vegas with a girlfriend and while they had fun seeing all the shows, her girlfriend was not very good about being on time.
She said “When I told her we had to be at the airport at 1 o’clock, to her that was a suggestion. I told her I didn’t think the pilot was going to consider it a suggestion.”
She is now a new client but she is so nervous about meeting someone.
I said “Take three deep breaths before you get out of your car to meet him. That will lower your anxiety level, and if you are feeling nervous while you are meeting with him just say “I’m a little nervous”. Then you don’t have to pretend you aren’t nervous which takes a lot of pressure off the situation, and you.”
I have real empathy for shy people because I know how difficult it is for them to meet someone new. I am a “9” on a scale of “0” to “10” in sociability, and initially it was hard for me to understand what the big deal was to just meet someone for an hour. Today, I can tell you when I shake someone’s hand if they are shy and, of course the test confirms it.
I made sure her first match was with a really nice, easy going man who is very easy to talk to, and easy to meet.
She said “I can do this.”
And, as with most shy people I work with, once she does it once or twice, it will be much easier.
To be continued…………………