March 17, 2011

My first appointment today is a lady, mid 40’s, divorced, one child at home, two others grown and on their own. Her long term goal is marriage. Although her long term marriage officially ended a year ago, it has been over for her for the last ten years. She thought she could wait until the last child graduated from high school but she decided she could not live the life she was living any longer. Now she wishes she had done it years ago. She said “I don’t have any anger or bitterness because I am so happy and relieved it is over. If I could find the right man I still have half my life left to live it with him.” She is a hard worker, financially responsible and a devoted mother. She does not she make a ton of money, but she has been very smart with her money and is in a comfortable financial position. She has not dated since her marriage ended but she is ready to date and planned to come see me when the time was right. She said “I have been hearing your commercials and seeing your ads for years and I knew I was going to come see you when I was ready.” About eight years ago I used to do a spot on the radio every Tuesday morning where people would call in and ask me questions. She tried to tune in every Tuesday morning and she made up her mind she was going to call me when her marriage was over. She said “I was afraid you would go out of business by the time I was divorced but here we are!” She is very outdoorsy, enjoys camping, hiking, four wheeling and being in the mountains. She knows couples who are happily married and she wants that for herself. She said “With the right man I know I can be incredibly happy but I don’t know how to find him.” I shared information with her on six men who appear to be good matches and we already agreed which one is going to be her first match.

My second appointment is a man, mid 50’s, divorced, grown children, semi retired, and his long term goal is marriage. His sister lives in another state and she sent him my website address and made him promise to call me. He said “She is my best friend, and sounding board for my love life and she said I need help.” I said “Do you think you need help?” He laughed and said “Well, I haven’t done too well on my own.” He was very much in love with the last lady only to discover she was a phony. It was a very hurtful and costly experience. He said “I’m not a stupid man but I look back on the six months we spent together and there were definitely red flags.” I said “Somehow the red flags are always easier to see in hindsight.” His sister tells him he is dating ladies who are too young. The last lady was 22 years younger than him, and the one before her was 15 years younger than him. I said “If I have a good match for you and everything else is there, including physical attraction, how old would you go?” He said “If I find her attractive I don’t care if she’s 45.” I said “Which is still ten years younger than you. Why limit yourself that way?” His response was so predictable I finished the sentence for him “Because I wouldn’t find her attractive and she couldn’t keep up with me.” I said “What if you did (find her attractive) and what if she could (keep up with you), how old would you go?” I shared information with him on four ladies who are compatible matches and they are 46, 48, 49 and 52. He said “They sound like great ladies but what do they look like?” Although I don’t usually show pictures in the interview, I showed him pictures of two of them, and he thought they were very attractive. I said “There’s only one problem, I’m not sure they will be attracted to you.” I laughed and he was not sure if I was kidding or not. I said “Look, you are much more likely to have more in common with a lady if she is closer to your own age and more than ten years is stretching it. He said “Maybe you’re right, maybe my sister is right, maybe I need to date older ladies.” I pointed out, one more time, that all the ladies I talked to him about are younger than him. He is now a new client. I love a challenge.

To be continued…………………………..