March 22, 2012

My first appointment today is a lady, late 30’s, divorced, educated, her long term goal is marriage. She has been divorced for over 10 years and ended a long term relationship a year ago.

She said “I will never live with someone again without being married. We lived together for five years and he continued to tell me he wanted to get married, but the time was never right. What I came to realize is that the time was never going to be right, and I got tired of feeling like I was forcing someone to marry me.” She has been meeting men through a couple of the online dating services and her conclusion was that most of them are “just interested in getting laid.”

She would like to meet a man whose kids are grown, or at least don’t need a babysitter. She has no children, and although she loves kids, she wants someone who has the same flexibility as she does to spend time together. Her interests include travel, running, hiking, kayaking, biking, reading, and scrapbooking. She would especially like to go to the Caribbean with someone special.

She said “The only thing missing in my life is finding the right person and I think your odds of finding him through the process you use makes so much sense. I cannot believe how just 46 questions tells you so much about me. It would be interesting to know my scores would have lined up with my ex-husband and the last man I dated.” I told her I will test anyone she wants in the future. In fact, when my clients meet someone on their own, one of the first things I suggest is sending them my test and getting their scores.

She said “Would you test my sister and her boyfriend? I would love to know what their scores are, and if they are compatible.” I gave her two test to take with her.

My second appointment is a lady, early 50’s, divorced, grown children, and her long term goal is marriage. She was a stay at home mom and home schooled her children. Her ex-husband has not made this divorce easy for anyone, especially her. It is sad how mean and vengeful someone can be just to get what they want. It took all the courage she had to meet with me, but she wants to move on and has no idea how to get started. I have said it before many times that tears in the interview is usually an indication that someone is not emotionally available, but with her, the tears were because she finally has some hope.

She has gone back to school to continue her education beyond her Bachelor’s degree with the desire to teach. When I started sharing information with her on the men I think are good matches for her she started to cry.
I said “Why are you crying?”
She said “These men sound so accomplished and I feel so inadequate to be this age and going back to school.”
I said “Financially you are in a position that you don’t have to do anything, and instead, you choose to continue with your education with the desire to teach and help others. You have raised two wonderful children and I see no reason in the world for you to feel inadequate. You should feel great about what you are doing.”
She is so sweet, compassionate and kind hearted and there are many men who would be happy to have her in their life.

She likes to hike, bowl, fish, horseback ride, camp, and would love to do some traveling. I look so forward to introducing her to some men who are also compassionate and kind hearted and helping her start over with her personal life.

Her finance score is a “3” on a scale of “0” to “10”, extremely budget minded. When she agreed she wanted to be a new client and I asked her how she wanted to pay for it, she said “I don’t use credit cards and I did not bring my checkbook because I did not want to make an impulsive decision but I will sign the contract and send you a check tomorrow. It is not uncommon for very budget minded people to do this, and I am so confident she will put her check in the mail tomorrow that I matched her already.

Every once in awhile I meet with someone that makes me think “you deserve a break”, and she is definitely one of those people. Before the interview was finished I got to see her smile a few times and when she smiles, you can see the happiness within her that is just waiting to explode. What a nice lady!

To be continued……………………….