March 31, 2011

My first appointment today is a man, mid 40’s, ABS, educated, self employed, his long term goal is marriage and he is open to having children. He said “With the right person, in the right situation, I think having a child could be amazing, but I am also OK with the idea that being a father may not be in the cards for me.” He has several nieces and nephews he is very close with and his relationships with them has allowed him to experience many of the joys of having kids in his life. He is the cool uncle who lives in Colorado and has taught all of them how to ski. He is the one they call when they think their parents don’t understand them. He knows their birthdays and how old they are and he looks forward to the time he spends with them. In addition to skiing, he also mountain bikes, hikes, does the incline, and Pilates. I told him I cannot recall any other male client who has said he does Pilates. He said “I love Pilates, the stretching, the core exercises, and my body is in better condition now than ever.” One of his friends gave him a hard time when he told him he was doing Pilates but, after seeing his results his buddy now does Pilates. Guess who got him into Pilates? One of his nieces. He said “Not in a million years did I think I would consider a dating service but I was referred to you by a friend and you matched him with a lady I think is perfect for him.” His friend initially told him that he met her on a ski slope but he finally told him where he met her because he wanted to refer him to me. He laughed and said “I told him he must have waited to tell me until after he met his girlfriend because he didn’t want me to be his competition.” Actually, he and his friend have very compatible scores and they could both very well be compatible with the same lady. It does not surprise me anymore when I test friends and they have very compatible scores, in fact, I expect it. If people choose their relationship partners like they chose their friends there would be a lot more successful relationships…but that physical attraction thing gets us off track.

My second appointment is a man, late 40’s, divorced, very successful, one child in college, and his long term goal is marriage. I interviewed him initially in 1992 and he has now won the reward for the person who has waited the longest to come back. After 19 years, his scores changed a half a point in two areas and one and a half points in another area. The one and a half point change was his finance score. He was more budget minded 19 years ago, but he today makes much more money than he did in 1992, so that makes sense. When I interviewed him in 1992 he had always been single and preferred to meet someone who had always been single. He was uncomfortable meeting someone who had been divorced and now he is divorced for the second time. He said “Although I am confident in all other areas of my life, I have not managed to be successful in finding the right lady. I am curious about who you would match me with and I want to get this right the next time.” He enjoys the arts, theater, concerts, plays, sporting events, travel, golf, and shopping. I said “It is rare for a man to say he enjoys shopping.” He said “I love going shopping with a lady. My last girlfriend wanted my opinion on her clothes. We went to Santa Fe often and she had her favorite places to shop. I sat in a very comfortable chair sipping on a glass of wine, talking to the sales girls, and watching all the ladies coming and going while she went in and out of the dressing room trying on clothes, I loved it!”

In one day, I met with a man who does Pilates and another man who loves to shop and they are both very manly men. The longer I am in this business, the more I see men and women becoming more and more alike….it’s all good.

To be continued…………………..