March 8, 2012

My first appointment today is a man, late 30’s, divorced, educated, his long term goal is marriage and children. His is a story I have heard many times. His marriage ended because he wanted children and she decided she did not want children. You would think this would be an issue which had been agreed upon BEFORE they married. Problem is, sometimes people change their minds, or they decide they do not want to have children with THIS particular spouse, or they say they want children and they really do not want children. In his case, he decided he did not want her to be the mother of his children.

He said “It is true that you don’t really get to know someone until you live with them. After two years of marriage, and giving her the benefit of the doubt so many times, I realized I was battling my head against a brick wall.” He had a dream that she was carry their baby to the car, she put the car seat on top of the car to open the door, and drove off with the baby sitting on top of the car. That was a defining moment.

He believes a mother can have a career and still be a good mother, but he prefers a lady who would either work from home, or part time, or be happy to be a fulltime stay at home mother, at least for the first few years.
He said “My mother was a stay at home mom at a time when most of my friends mothers worked and our house was the house all the kids loved to hang out. I cannot tell you how many times my friends would tell me how lucky I was to have a mom who was home all the time. I believe being a parent is the most important responsibility I will ever have, and I want my wife who feels the same way.”

He enjoys mountain biking, hiking, snowboarding, sporting events, concerts, and traveling. He has been to Europe a couple of times but he is in a better financial position to go back with a special lady and do it right. He went on a shoestring the first time, with buddies, staying in youth hostels, and counting pennies. The second time he went with a lady he had only known a couple of months and things did not go well, to say the least.

He said “The good thing about those trips is I now know the places I would like to visit again, and even some of the hotels I would like to stay. It would be a blast to plan a trip like that with someone I am truly in love with, maybe even for a honeymoon.”

He has been trying the online dating services and has the same complaints I hear from almost everyone who does the online thing: time consuming, ineffective, people are not honest, they don’t look like their pictures, and they live all over the country. He connected with one lady who lives in California, and spent weeks emailing and talking before meeting and discovering she was not at all someone he was interested in or attracted to.

I said “At Perfectly Matched I do all the work and I use 25 years of matchmaking experience to put together quality, compatible matches. I check ID, I take a picture, most of my clients live in Colorado Springs, your information is totally confidential, nothing goes on a computer, and I really get to know my clients through the personal communication before and after each match.”

He said “I am very impressed with your test, and the ladies you think are compatible matches for me and I am tired of wasting time.” He took advantage of my offer for 50% off all my regular programs until March 17th.
He said “When I called your office the other day I did not know about your special, but you suggested I check out your website and it was on one of your daily diaries. I picked a good time to check it out.”

He is a great guy with a lot to offer and I hope to introduce him to a lady that he gets to plan that trip to Europe with sometime soon!

I had to give the “teeth talk” again today. I interviewed a lady, late 40’s, very successful, attractive and fit. When she walked in and shook my hand and smiled, I knew I would be talking to her about her teeth. I used to wait until I started matching someone to see if I would hear about it in feedback, but now I just say it in the interview. She decided to take care of her teeth and come back to see me after she has them whitened. I told her it would probably only take a couple of weeks with the Crest Strips but she is going to call her dentist and see what he suggests.

I said “I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”
She said “No, it’s something I have been thinking about but I didn’t think it was that bad.”
I said “It is not that it is THAT bad, but your smile will be so much brighter and you will look younger and healthier.”
She said “I thought I would be spending money on a dating service today, but I guess I will be spending it with my dentist instead.”
Me and my big mouth!!!! I think she will be back and I can’t wait to see how she feels about her beautiful new smile.

To be continued……..