My favorite part of matchmaking is the interview. I never know who is going to walk through my door, what their “scores” will be, what their story will be, what I will learn from having met them. I learn something new with every person I interview.
The young man today, for instance. He is mid 20’s, ABS (always been single), in the military since he was 19 years old, his long term goal is marriage and children. He has been deployed three times, once as long as 21 months. He has traveled all over the world and I will never forget some of his comments.
He said “What I have learned most from my experiences is that we are all pretty much alike, no matter where we live in the world. I cannot dislike or treat someone badly if I think they are a good person.”
One of the questions I ask in the interview is whether or not you drink.
He said “I don’t drink much. I used to, but when you are deployed and can’t have alcohol for awhile, you realize the effect alcohol has on people. I come home and see everyone drinking and it changes their personality, not for the best. I don’t want to be like that.”
He said he had tried the internet dating and the ladies who responded were, for the most part, strippers. He went out with a 23 year old lady who was continuously texting on her phone without even looking up to talk.
He said “Young people today (mind you, he is in his 20’s) live with their phones. I think the only kind of phone there should be is a wall phone. It rings, I answer it or, I don’t. I don’t want to be that accessible 24/7.”
Wise beyond his years, for sure, and so good looking.
He said “I work out a couple of times a day. The military life inspires you to be fit and active. I owe this body to the military.”
He age preference is 23 to 34. He is 5’10 and his height preference is 5’2 to 6’.
He said “I don’t mind a bit if a lady is a couple of inches taller than me.”
This is the kind of guy every mother hopes her daughter will meet. I think he will be a fabulous father.
I received feedback from two clients who met for the first time last Saturday. They were both very enthusiastic about the meeting.
He said “From the first few minutes I was thinking how genuine and real she is, what you see is what you get. We laughed a lot. We have many common interests. She was intelligent, easy to talk to, comfortable to be with and very attractive. I am definitely interested in seeing her again and I hope it is mutual.”
Her feedback was very mutual and he was her first match. He was very complimentary to me about my service and he has been a client for three years.
He said “If I never met the right person through your service, I already decided it was worth it because of everything I have learned from the experience and what I learned most was to listen to you.” He thinks this lady is very special but time will tell.
He said “How much time do you think it takes to get to know someone well enough to know they have long term potential?”
It takes most people three months to get relaxed enough to be themselves and that is when you start to identify the things that do, or don’t, work. So here is what you do if you think someone has long term potential:
1) NO SEX FOR THE FIRST THREE MONTHS!!! Once you are physically involved, you are emotionally involved and it changes everything. Focus on a friendship for the first three months and if the friendship is right, everything else will fall into place.
2) Don’t look too far down the road too quickly. Any discussions about engagement or marriage should wait until you have dated for at least six months.
3) Do not get married until you have spent at least one year together.
4) The only way you really get to know someone is to live with them. I know living together before marriage is not comfortable for everyone, but a divorce is much more uncomfortable, and costly.
5) Listen to your gut feelings, and your family and friends. Remember, everyone can’t be wrong.
6) Never, ever, ever talk someone into marriage. Never, ever, ever be talked into marriage.
To be continued……………………………………