November 17, 2010

In 23 years of matchmaking I have interviewed thousands of people but my first interview today will stay in my mind and in my heart forever. Imagine being married for 20 years to the love of your life. They met when he was 19, married a year later, enjoyed a military career that took them all over the world, retired after 20 years in Colorado Springs, bought their dream home, and already into their second careers, then a sudden illness ends her life in just a few days. You are only 40 and you are starting over looking for another love of your life. The first thing I said to him when he finished telling me his story was “You are such a lucky man.” He had a strange look on his face and I explained. “You have no idea how lucky you are to know what is feels like to share that kind of love for so long. Many people live a lifetime and never know what it feels like to share unconditional, mutual love with a partner. Now that you know what that feels like you won’t settle for less as you move on with your relationships.” As often happens when someone finds themselves single, he reconnected with an friend from the past but he quickly determined she was moving too fast, too soon. He said “I read some of your daily diaries and the one thing that jumped out at me a couple of times was, the ones that start fast, end fast.” She lives in another state, came to visit for a few days, and she was ready to pack up and move to Colorado Springs. He sent her home and called me. I said “What you should do is date, have fun, make friends, and explore your options.” He agreed, but his long term goal is marriage and children. In his marriage of 20 years they consistently tried to have children, but conception resulted in a miscarriage every time. He is very close to his family, and hers. He is very connected to his father and mother in law. He referred to them as his ‘bonus family’. He said “I talk to them every week or two. Do you think that will be a problem for a lady?” I said “Not for the right lady.” He also referred to his wife and then said “I meant to say LATE wife, I guess I need to get used to saying that.” I said “No, you don’t. No one says ‘late’ wife or ‘late’ husband when they are widowed, they say ‘wife’, they say ‘husband’.” He was glad to hear that, and so many other things I was able to share with him, and him, with me. It is not often that I meet with someone who has had a charmed life ripped out from under them in a few days. I look forward to helping him find the next love of his life and, hopefully, the mother of his children.

My second appointment is a lady, early 40’s, ABS, her long term goal is marriage and she can go either way as far as having children. She said “I always thought I would have children but at this age I can go either way because it might not be a realistic option.” I love this lady. She has been doing my nails for six years. She is adorable, pretty, fit, sweet, kind, open minded, a little shy, affectionate, independent, financially responsible and I have been offering her a complimentary introduction, or two, for six years! Finally, tonight she takes my test and is emotionally available to meet the right man. She knew, and I knew, that until now she wasn’t ready but now she is and it will one of the crowning moments of my matchmaking career when I find her the right man. She is a military brat and has a fondness for military men. She said “It is ironic that the first three men you talked to me about are military men.” I said “No, it’s not. You have been listening to me for six years and I have been listening to you.” I talked to her about a half a dozen men and she said “Oh, wow, I’m getting nervous.” I said “Why?” She said “Because these men sound very interesting and it makes me nervous to think I could meet someone special.” I said “I think what makes you nervous is that you have taken a proactive step to meet someone special and you know I am determined to help you find him.” She said “I think you will.” If you think I will, I will. I think I will be dancing at her wedding!

To be continued…………………………..