November 29, 2011

My first appointment today is a lady, early 30’s, ABS, educated, her long term goal is marriage and children. Her sister met and married her husband through Perfectly Matched seven years ago and wants to buy her a membership for Christmas.

She said “My sister has been trying to get me to call you for years and she told me for Christmas this year she was going to buy me a husband. I knew what she was talking about as soon as she said that, and I told her I could not let her spend that kind of money on me. She said it cost less than the money we spend on the cruise, less than the money we spent going to Hawaii, less than money I have spent on online services over the years, and that our parents were going to split the expense with her.” Her sister called me two weeks ago and told me what she wanted to do and wanted to give me a credit card to pay for her sister’s membership.

I said “Have your sister call me and come in for the interview and let me see if I have matches for her before you give me a credit card.” She said “You will have matches for her, she is smart, and beautiful, and as so much to offer, she is just not meeting the right men.” I agreed to meet with her sister and call her after the meeting.

She was right, her sister is all the things she said she is, but she is more focused on physical attraction than anything else. Based on what she shared with me about her past relationships she has been doing what I call “under dating”. She has been dating men who do not have as much to offer her as she as to offer them. Why would she do that? Lack of comparison, lack of options, lack of exposure and a tendency to be attracted to great looking men who are not compatible matches.

She said “I HAVE to be attracted to a man, that matters more than anything else.” I said “That is your first problem. I will find a man who has as much to offer you as you have to offer him and ADD the physical attraction.” She said “I don’t believe the kind of man I would be attracted to would go to a dating service.”Although I do not usually show pictures, I knew she would not believe me if she didn’t see it, so I opened my files and flipped out one, two, three , four pictures and said “What do you think about him, and him , and him, and him.”

She said “OMG…(she actually said OMG), why would men like these come to a dating service?” I said “Because they are looking to meet a girl like you.”

She signed the contract, I took her picture, and I called her sister and said “I will take that credit card number now, and I have every confidence your sister is going to come to think this is the best Christmas present ever.” She said “I want my sister to find the right man and be happy. All these years she has teased me that I had to go to a dating service and “buy” a husband and now I get to “buy” hers, I’ll never let her live it down.”

Merry Christmas!?!?!?