October 2, 2010

My first appointment today is a lady early 40’s, separated for three years, emotionally available, ended a two year relationship a few months ago and is looking for a better way to meet the right man. We had some conversation on the phone about her separation and she asked me if she could explain in more detail when she met with me. In the interview she shared with me that her husband is in the military and each time she starts divorce proceedings he does not follow through or he is out of the country. She said “I hate being in this limbo but there is not much I have been able to do about it.” She has not personally spoken to him or seen him in three years. They were only married for six months and they have no children. She showed me copies of some of the volumes of paperwork that has been generated by her efforts to divorce him. I said “If we work together I will tell the men I match you with what you shared with me and see how they respond.” She said “Do you think they will be interested in meeting me, knowing the situation?” I said “I don’t think it will keep them from meeting you and if there is a connection between the two of you I think it will be less of an issue.” Also, she has nonconforming scores and a man who is also nonconforming is more likely to open to her situation. She said “I can’t get married if I am not divorced but I don’t necessarily want to be married.” Again, a nonconforming man is more likely to be open to that approach. She has changed her last name back to her maiden name, she does not receive any military benefits, her choice, and she is tired of letting something she has no control over consuming her time and draining her energy. She said “I think the best I can hope for is that he will meet someone he wants to marry and he will have to divorce me.” I said “Did your last relationship end because of this?” She said “No, it ended when his mother put pictures of him with his “new” girlfriend on her Facebook page and forwarded it to her hair stylist who is also my hair stylist.” It’s a small world after all.

My second appointment is a man, mid 40’s, divorced twice, two children from his first marriage and no children from his second marriage. He married a second time with the mutual understanding they would have more children. She changed her mind. He didn’t, he still wants more children. He is very close to his two children and, although they live in another state, he sees them several times a year. This is one of those “has a heart for kids” people and while he searches for the right woman to be the mother of his children he stays very involved with youth groups and mentors “any kid who knows me knows they can talk to me about anything, any time.” He said “I am probably getting too old to think about having children for much longer and that’s why I called you.” He heard my radio commercial, for the hundredth time, and what he remembered was “At Perfectly Matched you meet serious minded people and I do all the work.” He said “I thought it might help speed up the process.” I matched him before I left the office today.

I don’t want to bore anyone with more of my computer problems and, for the most part everything seems to be working, EXCEPT, I had to learn how to “enable my cookies” and that was not nearly as much fun as it sounds. I struggled through it and after about the tenth time, I got it. I have decided to make the computer my friend and make my life a lot easier. It was fun to start by enabling my cookies all by myself!

A quick Dad update….he got a steroid shot in his hip last Monday and the jury is still out on the results. It helped his hip pain but now his left leg, which he had the surgery on, is painful to stand on. We will talk with the doctor next week. He moved back upstairs for the first time since the surgery four months ago and he seems to be managing the stairs safely. He’s talking about taking a trip with his girlfriend. After all he’s been through, he never quits hoping he will get better. He said “Hell, I’m back upstairs sleeping in my own bed and if I don’t try to walk I’m not too much pain, now if the Broncos will just win on Sunday I will know my life is getting better.” GO BRONCOS!

To be continued Tuesday………..