October 26, 2010

My first appointment today is a lady, early 50’s, widowed, then divorced, grown kids and one teenager at home, and her long term goal is marriage. Any time I am interviewing someone who has been widowed I always ask if they had a happy marriage. She said “definitely .” I said “Good for you. Now that you know what it is like to be in a happy marriage you won’t settle for less.” She has been widowed for over ten years but she has not come close to being in a relationship with the right man. She has had her heart broken a couple of times and she is afraid it might get broken again. I said “Based on what you have shared with me it seems you trust too easily and fall in love too quickly.” She said “I know, but he told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.” I said “And how long did you know him when he said this to you?” She said “A couple of months.” I said “Do you think he might have said that to other women he has only known for two months or do you think he really knew you well enough after two months to think you are the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with?” She said “I think he has probably said it to other women he has only known for two months.” Then she got very emotional and said “How do you trust anyone, how do you know if they are being honest with you? I don’t want to have my heart broken again!” I said “If we work together I will be involved as a third party, before and after each match. Whatever is happening we will be discussing it and I would be very quick to tell you anyone who says he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you after knowing you for just two months is most likely a player or emotionally immature.” One year, that is the time you should spent with someone before you make a commitment to marry or move in together. Go through all four seasons because people can change with seasons and someone you get along with great in the summer could be very different in the winter. One year is not a long time to invest in a relationship that you want to last for the rest of your life. She is going to “think about” joining Perfectly Matched and get back to me in a few days. I hope I have the opportunity to work with her. She has no idea dating can be fun and she is not meeting the right men….not even close.

My second appointment is a man, late 40’s, divorced, no kids, and his long term goal is marriage. He has not had a serious relationship in eight years. He is a manager in the restaurant business. I said “I have worked with many people in management in the restaurant business and my first question for you is , do you have time for a personal life?” He laughed and said “I know where you are coming from but I have it under control after all these years and I rarely work more than 50 hours a week.” He Has decided it is time to make his personal life a priority. There are so many things he wants to do with a partner. He said “I have the time, I have the money, but I don’t want to travel alone, or hike alone, or go to dinner alone, or take a cruise alone. I am ready to find the right lady and be married again.” He said “Based on what has not happened in the last eight years I think it’s time to quit waiting for this to happened and to do something to help make it happen.” He has been hearing my radio commercials for years but the one he heard this morning made him pick up his phone and call. I have some great matches for him, he won’t be waiting much longer.

My third appointment is a lady coming in to reconnect. She recently ended a relationship with a man she has been connected with for over a year. They met online, emailed, texted, talked for six months. He moved here from the east coast to be with her and he was living with her and her children. It lasted three months and he was so depressed and despondent that she asked him to leave. They still talk and she still has feelings for him but she wants me to match her.
Sometimes there is a fine line between when someone is ready to move on and being emotionally available to move on. I think she is walking that fine line but I will match her and we will see.

My fourth appointment is a lady, mid 50’s, widowed, no kids, and her long term goal is marriage. She is about 40 pounds overweight and wanted to know if that meant I would not have matches for her. Once I had her scores from the profile test and learned more about her I think I have three possible matches.
She said “I am working on my weight. When my husband died I just let myself go because I didn’t care. I didn’t think I would ever want to be with a man again, but now I want to be healthier and I miss companionship.” She is a very sweet lady, a little shy, and she would be a devoted wife.

Feedback today from a man who met the lady I matched him with for the first time, “I really, really like her a lot. She was fun and funny, beautiful and very intelligent, and we had a lot of shared interests. Can I bribe you, throw some cash or favors your way to get you to match her with men she would not be interested in?” I said “I have had that offer before but it doesn’t matter. She will either be interested in meeting you again, or not.” I asked him if he had a feel for whether or not he thought she was interested and he said “I don’t know. We laughed a lot and I thought she had a good time.” I called her for her feedback but I ended up leaving a message on her voice mail. Usually, if they are interested, they call right away but maybe she had a busy day. I will keep my fingers crossed for him. He is the guy that I said I would match my daughters with if they weren’t married and I have seen him come a long way in the few months I have matched him. He may be a little shy but he has a great heart ,a fabulous business, financial stability and security and he is only in his early 30’s. Lots of potential!

To be continued tomorrow……..