September 8, 2011

My first appointment today is a lady I met recently through a mutual acquaintance. She is mid 20’s, ABS, (Always Been Single), educated, a nurse, her long term goal is marriage and children. She said “Meeting you was such good timing I don’t think it was just a coincidence.” She ended a relationship which had lasted two years about six months ago and is beginning to feel ready to make her personal life a priority again. She said “Everyone tells me I have plenty of time to find the right person and have a family but I thought I would be married and have at least one child by now. I want to be a young mom and I don’t want to be having babies in my 30’s.” She has two siblings who are married and already have three kids between them with one on the way. She wants her children to grown up with their cousins. She almost married the man she had dated for two years and, as much as she wants to be married and have children, she knew he was not the right one. She said “I don’t want to spend more time in a relationship to ultimately come to that conclusion again and I was thinking about what I could do to be more sure I am with the right man.” Her sister suggested she call Perfectly Matched because she has a friend who met her husband through me and three days later we met at a social function. By the time the interview was over she was convinced she would be much more likely to find a man who is right for her through Perfectly Matched. She said “I cannot believe how much you know about me from just 46 questions (the profile test), in addition to everything else you pay attention to, and I am very impressed with the men you think are good matches for me.” She is smart, pretty, fit, active, and very emotionally mature for her age. She enjoys skiing, snowboarding, concerts, travel, kayaking, and spending time with her family .” I love, love, love having the opportunity to work with someone so young and so focused and I have some great matches for her.

My second appointment is a lady, early 30’s, divorced, self employed, educated, and her long term goal is marriage. She has one child and is very open to having more children if she meets someone who is interested in having children. She is a referral from her brother who met and married his wife through Perfectly Matched five years ago. She said “I wish I had a dime for every time he told me to call you.” Her scores (from the profile test) are very unique. She is a “4” in temperament, very direct and straight forward, an “8” in sociability, very outgoing, a “2” in conformity, very nonconforming, a “9” in affection, very affectionate, a “0” in religion, an atheist, and a “3” in finance, extremely budget minded. She said “My brother is right, he said I am really weird .” I said “I prefer to say you are unique and special.” I have two men who could be matches for her, and with her scores, that is not surprising. I offered her less than my regular programs and she is going to give it a try. She said “What if neither one of these guys work out?” I said “Then we will be waiting for the right man to walk through the door.” She said “Go on your daily dairy and say you are looking for a man who wants to meet a lady who is an aggressive, outgoing, nonconforming, smothering, atheist who is so tight she squeaks.” I said “You got it.” There is someone for everyone!

I said I was going to write about my online dating experience and here’s the deal…I went on two weeks ago today. I cancelled my membership after ten days. Many people come to me after their online dating experience and the complaints they have are #1 Time consuming. #2 Ineffective. #3 People don’t look like their pictures. #4 They live too far away. #5 They are not honest. I found all of those complaints to be valid. However, I do give a lot of credit for their “Safety Tips” and I highly recommend you read them before you connect with anyone. My first “message” was from a man named Eddie in Eagle, Co. I viewed his profile and responded. He suggested I send him my email address and I did. He suggested I send him my cell phone number and I did. At midnight the next night my phone rang and although I was sound asleep, I thought there might be something wrong with my Dad or one of my kids so I answered the phone. I said “Hello” He said “Is this Donna?” I said “Who is this?” He said “Eddie.” I said “Eddie who?” He said “The Eddie you gave your cell phone number to yesterday.” I said “You don’t sound like Eddie.” He said “What do you mean I don’t sound like Eddie?” I said “You sound like you are Hispanic or Black.” He said “Your profile said you are open to all races.” I said “I am, but based on your picture you are white.” I said “Look, it is midnight, call me back at a more appropriate time.” I hung up and the next morning I looked at the number he called from and it was a Georgia area code. Never heard from “Eddie” again. The next man who sent me a message had a picture that I swear was George Clooney. He was 57 and lived in Maryland. I responded to his message and said “Why would a 57 year old man who looks like George Clooney be interested in a 64 year old lady in Colorado?” Never heard from him again. Then I discovered the “Safety Tips”. They are too numerous to mention but among them were “Never send your email address to anyone. Never give your cell phone number to anyone. Never respond to anyone asking for money. Be suspicious of anyone who claims they are recently widowed.” In ten days 700 men viewed my profile and pictures. Initially I tried to keep up with viewing theirs, but ultimately I got to the point where I would click on their picture and delete. I requested men who lived “in a reasonable of distance of Colorado Springs” and continued to get responses from all over the USA and Canada. I had over 200 “messages” and “flirts”. I quickly identified that men who only had one picture were probably scammers. Then I realized that those men probably knew that just one picture was a red flag because I started to see pictures of men who took their pictures with their cell phones facing a mirror. There was one guy who had someone take his picture with three different shirts on but he was sitting on the same bed in every picture. It looked like he was in a motel room changing shirts and taking pictures. That was my exit moment. I spent a total of 23 hours in ten days and met one man. He lives in Colorado Springs and he was the only one I sent a message to first, mainly because he lives in Colorado Springs, I liked his profile, and I thought I recognized him. When we met I was right, but I thought I had seen him at the Famous and it was actually the El Paso Club five years ago. We have gone out three times and he is a nice guy. One of the main reasons people come to Perfectly Matched is because they don’t have time to meet someone on their own. Online dating is very, very time consuming and not very safe. If you read the “Safety Tips” it is apparent that the company hosting the site is aware of the safety issues and warning you what to be aware of. The exposure was much more than I was comfortable with, there is no screening, and anyone can post a profile. I understand better than ever why people come to me AFTER they have tried online dating. I do all the work, I meet everyone in person, I check a valid driver’s license, I make the match based on both clients preferences, I am involved as a third party before and after each match, there is no game playing, they sign an agreement that gives me permission to do a background check, I really get to know my clients, and all their information is confidential, nothing goes on a computer, most of my clients live right here in Colorado Springs. AND, I do believe my talents as a Matchmaker are what make my service more effective and keep me in business. Tired on wasting time online? Call me at 260-1000. BTW, I feel sorry for the guys online who really ARE recently widowed.

To be continued……….